Escape to Cincinnati: Luxury Suites Await at Extended Stay America!
Okay, here's a brutally honest, rambling, and hopefully hilarious review of Extended Stay America in Cincinnati, focusing on those Luxury Suites (cue dramatic sigh). Buckle up, buttercups. This might get messy.
Title: Extended Stay America, Cincinnati: My Apartment-Sized Adventure (and My Ongoing Battle with the Coffee Machine)
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Alright, alright, let's get this over with. Extended Stay America in Cincinnati. Luxury Suites, they say. Luxury. Let's just say my definition of "luxury" and Extended Stay America's might be… slightly different. I'm leaning towards "functional." You know, like a well-worn pair of jeans. Comfortable, reliable, but not exactly runway-ready.
Accessibility (The Good Samaritan Award Goes To…)
Okay, let's start on a positive note. I was actually pleasantly surprised by the accessibility. Now, I'm not in a wheelchair myself, but I’ve got a friend who is, and I always check this stuff. And hey, they actually seemed to care about making things easier for folks. Elevator? Yup. Wide doorways? Check. Granted, the hallways are a little…long. You feel like you’re walking through a never-ending airport terminal. If you're in a wheelchair, bring a good book. Or a podcast. Or both.
Getting Inside (The Great Hallway Trek - Part 1)
Okay, let me tell ya… getting to the room felt like an actual journey. My room was WAY at the end of the hallway. It's a long hallway to get to any room, no matter where you are. So, imagine carrying your luggage! Thankfully, the elevator… well, it works. I would've been a lot more miserable. So, that's a win. But, if you have issues with long walks, request a room closer to the elevator.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges (The Unspoken Truth)
There aren't any on-site restaurants or lounges, accessible or otherwise. This is an Extended Stay, people. It's a "make your own breakfast with a mini-fridge and a microwave" kind of vibe. Which brings us to…
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The DIY Experience)
- Kitchenette Chaos: The "luxury" suites come with a kitchenette. Now, I'm no chef, but even I could tell the cookware was ancient. Let's just say my attempts to make a decent scrambled egg resulted in a smoke alarm symphony. And the coffee machine? Don't even get me started. It's a temperamental beast, and I'm pretty sure it holds a personal vendetta against me. I think it hates me because I kept running out of coffee.
- Breakfast is… What? Okay, so "breakfast" is a grab-and-go situation. Usually, it's some sad-looking packaged muffins, instant oatmeal that tastes like paste, and, if you're lucky, a piece of fruit that hasn't seen better days. "Asian breakfast" and "Western breakfast" are basically the same thing: sad pastries and more instant oatmeal. Now, the upside is, you can always get a different breakfast, and the store is always open.
- Restaurants and Snacks (The Great Escape): There are restaurants nearby, which is a lifesaver. Especially since the on-site options are basically nonexistent. You're on your own, which is usually fine, but a little soul-crushing when you’ve been traveling all day and just want someone to bring you a damn burger.
Cleanliness and Safety (The Sanitization Squad)
- Germaphobe Approved (Mostly): I have to hand it to them: they seriously seemed to be on top of the sanitization routine. They had signs everywhere. And it felt…clean. They may have overdone it a bit. I even saw the housekeeping guy wiping down the elevator buttons…before he used them himself. I do feel safe in here, which is a win!
- My Room? The room's clean. And safe. And yes, they did, in fact, sanitize it before I showed up.
Internet, Internet, Internet (Wi-Fi Woes and Victory!)
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! Hallelujah! Okay, this is a massive win. Free, reliable Wi-Fi. Crucial. As a remote worker, or somebody who likes to binge-watch Netflix (which, let's be honest, is most of us), this is a MUST. And the Wi-Fi was actually… good! No complaints here. Thank you, internet gods!
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (The Quest for Zen)
- The "Fitness Center" (and my internal struggle): Okay, let's be honest. The "fitness center" is more like a sad little corner with, perhaps, two treadmills, a very lonely elliptical, and a rack of free weights that look like they've been through a war. But hey, at least it's there! I tried it. It was a struggle. I did not sweat. I came back looking like I didn't do anything.
- Spa/Sauna/Pool? Nope. Nada. Zilch. This is not that kind of hotel. This is the kind of hotel where you curl up in front of the TV. So, your "spa" is the hot shower, your "sauna" is the steam rising from your take-out, and the "pool" is whatever body of water you dip your toes in.
- The Room - Your Oasis: Despite the lack of spa facilities, my room was pretty cozy and I was actually comfortable. I think I kind of like my room here, even though it's an apartment.
Services and Conveniences (It's Got the Basics, Folks)
- Daily Housekeeping: Yeah, that's a plus. A clean room is always a good thing.
- Laundry Service: Also, a lifesaver! Being able to wash my clothes without leaving the building is truly a godsend.
- Front Desk: The staff were fine. Not overly friendly, but efficient. They did their jobs.
- Elevator? Check! Yes. A big win.
- Convenience Store Right on site!
For the Kids (I Could Not Say)
I don't have kids. So I'm gonna pass on this one.
Getting Around (Car Parking - It's Free!)
- Free Parking: This is HUGE for Cincinnati, where parking can be a complete nightmare. Big win.
- Airport Transfer: Didn't use it, but it looks like they might have something. Worth checking.
- Taxi Service: Don't know, didn't use, but I'm sure it's an option.
Available in All Rooms (The List of Essentials!)
- Air Conditioning: You got it. Thank goodness. It gets HOT in Cincinnati.
- Coffee/Tea Maker: (See my earlier rant about the coffee machine.)
- Refrigerator: Essential for keeping your midnight snack stash cold.
- Microwave: Also essential for reheating said midnight snack stash.
- Free Wi-Fi: See above. The hero of this review.
- TV: Yes, multiple channels.
- Desk: A good desk. I give it a solid 8/10.
The Verdict (The Messy Conclusion)
Extended Stay America in Cincinnati is, well, it's fine. It's not glamorous. It's not luxury. But it's clean, safe, relatively comfortable, and, most importantly, functional. The "Luxury Suites" are more like spacious apartments, and the kitchenette is a gamble. It's a good option for a longer stay, or if you want the space and the convenience of having a kitchen.
Would I stay here again? Honestly? Probably. It's a solid choice. No frills, no fuss. And that free Wi-Fi… that's a game-changer. I mean, if I could just master that damn coffee machine… But, hey, at least the smoke alarms are working. Just kidding, kinda.
Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars. (Mostly for the free Wi-Fi and the convenience.)
Unbelievable Xiamen Views: Magnotel's Twin Tower Luxury!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is a chaotic odyssey of self-discovery (or, you know, just a trip to Cincinnati) centered around the Extended Stay America in Blue Ash. Consider yourselves warned.
Extended Stay America: Cincinnati - Blue Ash - Kenwood Road - Let the Games Begin (and Possibly End in Laundry Chaos)
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Disappointment (and the Sweet, Sweet Embrace of Air Conditioning)
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown. Cincinnati airport. Ugh. I hate flying. Always the armrest hog, the cougher, the guy who thinks it's okay to take off their shoes. Anyway, made it. First hurdle cleared.
- 1:45 PM: Rental Car Debacle. Remember that "economy car" you booked? Yeah, they're out. Now you're staring at a minivan. A MINIVAN. This is not how I envisioned my solo getaway. I'm already feeling judged, and I haven't even left the airport parking lot.
- 2:30 PM: Check-in at Extended Stay. Honestly, the "suite" is… functional. I mean, it has a mini-fridge (bless), a microwave (more bless), and a general ambiance that screams "transient bachelor." The beige walls are a mood, a beige mood. The air conditioning, however, is a godsend. I immediately crank it up to arctic levels, because, after the minivan fiasco, my inner temperature is probably hovering around molten lava.
- 3:00 PM: Unpack. Or, as I like to call it, "dump my suitcase onto the bed with the grace of a pregnant walrus". I'm one of those people, you know? The ones who never unpack properly the entire trip. Comfort in chaos, they say.
- 3:30 PM: Grocery Run. Gotta stock up on essentials: sparkling water (hydration is key, people!), instant coffee (because adulting requires caffeine), and… oh, the shame… microwave popcorn. Don't judge. Sometimes, that's all you need.
- 4:30 PM: First Impressions of Blue Ash. It's… suburban. Very, very suburban. But hey, I'm here for the experience, right? (Narrator: She's not.)
- 5:00 PM: Dinner Attempt #1: Finding a "good" restaurant, after the initial google search. It was a dud.
- 6:30 PM: Dinner Attempt #2: Found a diner. The fried-food smells were a siren song I couldn't resist. Ordered a burger. Regretted it slightly, but hey, that's life, baby.
- 8:00 PM: Settling In. Now that night has fallen, the mood is still the same. Sitting with the lights off, it's okay. No, scratch that. It's actually more than okay.
- 9:00 PM: Netflix & Chill (with myself). Binge-watching that show everyone's talking about. The one I swore I wouldn't watch. Surprise, surprise, I'm already at episode 3. My inner critic is screaming, but the remote is glued to my hand.
- 11:00 PM: Bedtime. Praying the neighbors don't have a party. or a loud dog. or any noisy human activity. The world can be annoyingly loud
Day 2: Culture Shock (and More Microwave Popcorn)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. The AC is still blasting. I briefly consider starting a new life in this perfectly chilled room.
- 8:30 AM: Coffee and "Breakfast." The "continental breakfast" is… limited. But I did say, "adulting requires caffeine", right? The only real breakfast, is the one I made.
- 9:00 AM: Attempted Culture. Heading to a local museum. Or was it a park? I can't remember.
- 10:30 AM: The Actual Museum/Park. The museum was interesting. Okay, it was a little too informative. I may have lost focus halfway through the historical facts and started daydreaming about winning the lottery and buying a private island. The park, on the other hand, was a different story.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Grabbed a sad sandwich. It was a necessity, but not a highlight.
- 2:00 PM: Shopping Spree (or the illusion of one). Browsed the department store. I swear, I'm the only person who buys clothes sporadically.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the Suite. Needed a break from… everything. Mostly people.
- 4:30 PM: Laundry Disaster. The Extended Stay laundry facilities… are an experience. First, the machines are ancient. Second, the detergent situation? Forget about it. Third, I somehow managed to shrink my favorite shirt. (Cue the internal scream.)
- 5:30 PM: Ranting and raving at myself about the laundry situation. How can a person this old, still make these kinds of mistakes?
- 6:30 PM: Dinner Prep. The microwave is my friend. I'm getting really good at heating up leftovers. (Pro tip: microwave popcorn is a perfectly acceptable side dish.)
- 7:30 PM: More Netflix. More popcorning, more self-soothing.
- 9:00 PM: Contemplation of Life's Great Mysteries. Like, why did I choose this hotel? How do people manage to be so organized? What is the meaning of a good book? This is why I can't have nice things (like a better travel itinerary).
- 11:00 PM: Bedtime. Maybe tomorrow I'll actually leave the hotel. Maybe.
Day 3: The Great Escape (or, At Least, Leaving the Suite)
- 9:00 AM: I did it! I took a shower! Small victories are still victories, people!
- 9:30 AM: More coffee. That stuff is my lifeblood.
- 10:00 AM: Actual Attempt at "Doing Something." Driving around.
- 11:00 AM: The Zoo. Okay, it was pretty cool. The giraffes were majestic. The monkeys were entertaining. The crowds were… overwhelming.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at the Zoo. overpriced, but what do you expect?
- 2:30 PM: Trying to Get Some "Real" Work Done. Failing miserably. Procrastination is my middle name.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the Suite. Re-embracing its comforting mediocrity.
- 4:30 PM: Re-evaluating life choices. Should I just move into this Extended Stay permanently? It's a tempting thought… the air conditioning, the microwave, the blissful anonymity.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. I swear, if I have another frozen pizza…
- 7:00 PM: Reading and relaxing finally. Just a normal evening.
- 9:00 PM: Packing (a little). Because, you know, leaving.
- 11:00 PM: Bedtime. Wondering if I really want to leave.
Day 4: Check Out & Farewell (Maybe?)
- 9:00 AM: Packing. Final touches.
- 9:30 AM: Final inspection of the room. Making sure you didn't leave anything, and hoping you didn't break anything…
- 10:00 AM: Check Out. The most bittersweet moment.
- 10:30 AM: Cinncinati airport. I found out I should fly home.
- 1:00 PM: Homeward bound. The end.
- 1:00PM: (Post-trip) Re-evaluating the whole experience. Was it a waste of time? Probably. Did I have a good time? Maybe, sort of. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Maybe. I'll let you know.
This itinerary, as you can see, has a lot of heart, very little planning, and even less organization. Welcome to the real world! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a laundromat and see if that shirt can be saved. Wish me luck (I'll need it).
Ankeny's BEST Kept Secret: Unbelievable Country Inn & Suites Deal!
Alright, spill the beans! Is this Extended Stay America in Cincy really "luxury suites"? Like, are we talking diamond-encrusted toilet seats?
Luxury? Okay, let's be real. "Luxury" in Extended Stay America terms probably means... not having to share a bathroom with a family of five. Think... functional, but not *Versace* functional. I'm picturing maybe a decent-sized kitchenette (perfect for microwaving questionable leftovers at 3 AM), a bed that *doesn't* scream "previously occupied by a zombie," and... well, that's about it. Don't get me wrong, clean is good. Function is fantastic. But diamond-encrusted? Honey, if you're expecting that, you’re in the wrong universe (and probably the wrong budget). Just setting expectations... and maybe grabbing some Clorox wipes before you arrive. Just in case.
So, like, what's the "extended" part about? Can I *actually* live there? Because, bills, ugh...
Haha! Okay, the "extended" part? Yeah, it's kinda their whole *thing*. They’re *designed* for it. Think of it as a purgatory for people between apartments, or maybe those of us in the Witness Protection Program (just kidding... maybe). You can *totally* live there. People do! It's for folks needing a week, a month, maybe even longer. I once knew a guy (we'll call him "Chad") who lived in one for six months while he was, shall we say, "re-evaluating his life choices." He emerged, sun-starved and slightly paler, but with a *very* strong microwave game. So yeah, you can live there. Just... bring some sunshine, okay?
Is there a free breakfast? Because, honestly, that's a deal breaker. And I’m not talking about cold cereal.
Alright, breakfast... ah, the eternal question! Let's just say, temper your expectations, okay? I'm pretty sure the free breakfast consists of… well, let’s be kind and say "nutritionally adequate". Think pre-packaged muffins that have the consistency of a hockey puck, instant oatmeal you can practically taste the sadness in, and maybe, *maybe* some instant coffee that will keep you... awake? It's not a Michelin star experience, folks. Pack some protein bars or, you know, a REAL breakfast treat from the store nearby. You’ll thank me. Seriously, my last Extended Stay Breakfast, I swear, I saw a family of squirrels abandon ship. And even *they* looked disappointed.
Okay, spill. The Wi-Fi. Is it… alive? Does it *work*? Because, deadlines, streaming, you know… the usual millennial panic.
The Wi-Fi... ah, the true test of civilization. It's the modern-day coliseum. Look, it often *exists*. Whether it *works reliably* is a whole other (and deeply traumatic) story. Sometimes it's blazing fast and you're streaming your favorite shows like a boss. Other times... well, let's just say you’ll be wishing you packed a carrier pigeon. Or maybe a really, REALLY long ethernet cable. Be prepared. I recently tried to upload a HUGE file while there, and I swear I aged five years in those agonizing minutes. Bring your patience. Bring a backup hotspot. Pray to the Wi-Fi gods. You'll need it.
Let's talk about cleaning. Do they, you know, actually *clean* the rooms? Or is it a "leave it how you found it plus some extra mystery smudges" situation?
Cleaning... ah, yes. The ever-present question. Okay, here's the deal. They *do* offer cleaning, technically. However, the frequency and thoroughness can vary wildly. My advice? Ask *before* you book. Seriously. Find out the exact cleaning schedule. And maybe, just *maybe*, pack some extra antibacterial wipes. I once stayed somewhere where the “cleaning” seemed to involve… moving the dust around. I swear I swear I saw a rogue dust bunny give me the side eye! So, yeah. Pack the wipes. You'll have much better peace of mind, believe me. And for the love of all that is holy, check under the bed. Trust me on this one.
Okay, parking? Essential. Is it free? Is it, like, in Mordor? Give me the parking lowdown!
Alright, parking. Usually, it's *free* at Extended Stay. Usually. But "free" doesn't always mean "convenient." Expect a parking lot reminiscent of a crowded airport tarmac on the day before a major holiday. It might be a bit of a walk to get to your room, especially if – like me – you pack like you're moving your entire life across the globe. And try not to be a complete jerk on the parking. I once saw a lady SCREAM at a guy for parking in her imaginary spot. It was epic, and slightly horrifying. So, yeah, check parking. Plan ahead. And embrace the potential for some serious outdoor cardio.
What about the staff? Are they, you know, helpful? Friendly? Or do I need to bring a translator?
The staff? Ah, bless their hearts. They're generally... fine. It really depends. You might get a super-friendly, overly helpful person who's clearly been sipping sunshine all morning. Or, you might get someone who's seen some things, man. Seen *things*. They’re usually trying their best, juggling a thousand things at once. Be kind. Remember your manners. A smile goes a long way. And sometimes, just sometimes, a small tip can work wonders (especially if the Wi-Fi has just gone down and you're about to lose your mind). I mean, I'm just sayin'. They are human, after all.
Location, location, location! Is this place actually *in* Cincy? And is it near anything... fun? Or am I looking at a week of staring at a parking lot?
Location! Okay, so "in Cincinnati" is a relative term. It *could* be. It might be a suburb. It could be… well, let’s just say, check the map carefully. I mean, you don't want to end up an hour away from the action when you’re hoping for a night outTrip Hotel Hub
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