Escape to Houston: Howard Johnson's Downtown Delight!
Escape to Houston: Howard Johnson's Downtown Delight! - A Review (That's Definitely Not Sugar-Coated)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the neon-lit, occasionally underwhelming world of the Howard Johnson's Downtown Houston. This wasn't just some generic hotel stay; this was an experience. And let me tell you, it was… something. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?
(Metadata & SEO - gotta get those keywords in, even if it feels like a corporate overlord's dream):
- Keywords: Houston Hotel, Downtown Houston, Howard Johnson, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Free Wi-Fi, Restaurant, Fitness Center, Cleanliness, Safety, Family-Friendly, Business Facilities, Airport Transfer, Car Park, Wheelchair Accessible, Non-Smoking Rooms, Pet Policy, Concierge, Conference Facilities, Meeting Rooms, Hotel Review, Budget Hotel Houston
- Meta Description: Honest review of Howard Johnson's Downtown Houston. Find out about accessibility, amenities, cleanliness, rooms, food, and overall experience. Read before you book!
(Accessibility - My Wheelchair's Got Opinions)
Okay, let's start with the serious stuff. Accessibility is a big one for me (and my trusty wheelchair, Gertrude). The website claimed to be accessible, and… well, they tried. Wheelchair accessible rooms were available, and the ramps weren't too terrifying. The elevator worked (thank the heavens!), which is always a win. The front desk [24-hour] was manned, and the staff seemed receptive to requests, but let’s just say communication wasn't always a shining star. They definitely have facilities for disabled guests, but things like the door widths and bathroom layouts could have been better thought out. And the accessibility options didn't seem to always function perfectly.
(On-site Accessible Restaurants / Lounges - Nibbles and Near-Misses):
Now, about the "dining" scene… While there were on-site options listed, navigating them in a wheelchair was a bit of a Tetris game. Some of the tables were too close together, and maneuvering was a challenge. This is a huge miss. This needs IMPROVEMENT!
(Internet Access - The Digital Struggle is Real)
Ah, the glorious Internet. They boasted Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, and, bless their hearts, it mostly worked. Sometimes it crapped out, sometimes it was fast, sometimes it was like trying to herd cats. I did appreciate the Internet access – wireless, and even Internet access – LAN (who even uses that anymore?!). It felt a bit early 2000's with some of the tech.
(Things to Do - Relaxation, Maybe?):
Okay, they said they had ways to relax. Let's see…
- Swimming pool: The Swimming pool [outdoor] was… a pool. It was there. I didn't go in it.
- Fitness Center: The Fitness center was a room. With some machines. They weren't the newest, but hey, they were there right?
- Spa/sauna: This is were things get messy, as there was no sign of the Spa. I'm guessing it's a lie?
(Cleanliness and Safety - Did They Sanitize the Chaos?):
This is where I got a little… twitchy. They claimed to use Anti-viral cleaning products and do Daily disinfection in common areas. They offered Room sanitization opt-out available, which I appreciate. My room looked clean-ish, but there were a few… smudges on the mirror that made me question the depth of the clean. The Staff trained in safety protocol, I hope so!. The Hand sanitizer by the elevators was a nice touch. The Fire extinguisher was there. I’m not sure how “professional-grade sanitizing services” actually worked. Safe dining setup, I'll get to that.
(Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Food Adventures (or Misadventures)):
Now, for the juicy stuff: the food.
- Restaurants: They had Restaurants, plural! One of them, I braved.
- Breakfast [buffet]: The Breakfast [buffet] was… a buffet. They offered a Western breakfast, which was mostly beige food and coffee that tasted vaguely of sadness. No Asian breakfast on hand. This isn't the end of the world, but nothing to write home about.
- Coffee shop: They had a Coffee shop - that's how I got past the sadness.
- Room service [24-hour]: Room service was available, and at some point, I ordered something. I blacked out.
- Poolside bar: Didn't see a Poolside bar, which was kind of crushing. I wanted a margarita.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: I hope so. I mean, I’m still here, right?
(Services and Conveniences - The Little Things (and the Big Ones)):
- Air conditioning in public area: Check.
- Concierge: The Concierge was… there. Helpful? Sometimes. Occasionally they knew things.
- Cash withdrawal: Check.
- Dry cleaning: Check.
- Elevator: Check (important!).
- Daily housekeeping: Ah, yes, the Daily housekeeping. My room was tidied, but the person clearly didn’t understand the concept of “tidy” and “organized.”
- Car park [free of charge]: Yes!
- Airport transfer: Available (didn't use it).
(For the Kids - Not My Area of Expertise):
I don't have kids, but they claimed to be Family/child friendly, with Babysitting service and Kids facilities. I can't vouch for any of these.
(Available in All Rooms - The Essentials (and Some Extras)):
My room had all the basics: Air conditioning, a Desk, a Coffee/tea maker, and a Hair dryer. The Free bottled water was a nice touch, as was the Mini bar. The bed was comfortable enough, though the pillows were a bit flat. The bathroom was… adequate. The Separate shower/bathtub was a good touch. The Soundproofing, however… well, my neighbors seemed to be having a very lively party.
(Getting Around - Houston, We Have a Car Park (and Other Options)):
- Airport transfer: Yes, but didn't use it.
- Car park [free of charge]: YES!
- Taxi service: Available.
(The Messy Truth - My One REALLY Bad Experience)
Alright, here it is. The single moment that truly defined my stay. One evening, I decided to venture down to the on-site "restaurant." The place was sparsely populated, which should have been my first clue. I ordered a simple salad. It arrived (eventually), and… well, let's just say it involved a wilted iceberg lettuce, a few anemic tomatoes, and a dressing that tasted suspiciously like dish soap. I politely sent it back. The replacement was… no better. The whole interaction felt like an amateur hour play with bad actors and a terrible script. It was, honestly, a culinary crime. I swear I could taste the lack of effort. This experience single-handedly brought the entire experience down.
(Final Verdict - Would I Return?):
Look, the Howard Johnson's Downtown Houston isn’t the worst hotel in the world. But, there a LOT OF room for improvement. It's… adequate. It's a place to sleep, and it mostly gets the job done. If you're on a tight budget and need a central location, it might be okay. But if you're looking for a luxurious, stress-free stay with amazing food and thoughtful details… keep looking. Rating: 2.5 Stars (Out of 5 – and that's being generous)
P.S. Don't expect too much from the Wi-Fi. And definitely, never order the salad.
Escape to Texas Hill Country: Fairfield Inn & Suites Fredericksburg Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's perfectly manicured travel itinerary. We're going full-blown "what in the actual hell am I doing with my life?" Houston edition, starting at the glorious, slightly-crumbling, but undeniably functional Howard Johnson by Wyndham in Houston Heights/Downtown. Prepare for…well, prepare for a hot mess. But a glorious, slightly sweaty, hopefully-full-of-Texan-charm mess.
Trip Title: Houston, We Have a Problem… (But In a Good Way, Maybe?)
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of a Hotel Room
Time: 3:00 PM - Officially checked in, sweating buckets, staring at the slightly-worn-out carpet in my room at the HoJo. Listen, I'm not saying it's the Ritz, but hey, the AC kinda works! (Fingers crossed for the night.) My initial assessment of the place: Let's just say the art on the walls isn't winning any awards, but the complimentary coffee machine in the lobby might be my new best friend.
- Anecdote: First impressions? The elevator creaked like a dying dinosaur. Felt like I was entering a time warp.
- Quirky Observation: The motivational poster in the lobby with a picture of a dolphin jumping through a hoop? Bold move, HoJo. Bold move.
Time: 4:00 PM - Reconnaissance Mission: Finding Food (and Booze, Let's Be Honest)
- Goal: Locate a decent greasy spoon/dive bar within stumbling distance. Houston, you beautiful behemoth, lead me to your treasures!
- Transportation: Walking. Embrace the Texan heat! (Insert dramatic sigh here)
- Rambling Thought: Is it just me, or does every Texan seem to have a genuine cowboy boot collection?
- Emotional Reaction: Mild panic. I’m usually terrible at navigating new places.
Time: 5:00 PM - Found it!
- Location: A place called "The Dive Bar." (Original, I know.) Smells of stale beer and delicious promise.
- Experience: Ordered a burger that was bigger than my head alongside a local brew. The waitress, a woman with a heart of gold and a voice like gravel, gave me a look that said, "Honey, you look like you need this." Bingo. It was exactly what i needed. I'm already seeing myself becoming a permanent resident. God I'm in love.
- Opinion: This is what freedom tastes like. Seriously, the burger was incredible. The beer, cold. This is the definition of comfort.
Time: 7:00 PM - Back at the HoJo, slumped on the bed.
- Activity: Regretting ordering that second (and third) beer. Wondering if I can sneak the "Do Not Disturb" sign into my suitcase.
- Imperfection: Forgot to buy snacks. Now facing the prospect of vending machine chips. The horror
- Emotional Reaction: Contemplating the meaning of life while staring at the ceiling fan. Is it spinning too fast? Am I too old for this? Do I even like Houston? (Spoiler alert: I think I do.)
Day 2: Art, Culture, and the Lingering Ghost of a Hangover
Time: 9:00 AM - Waking up. Or rather, the gradual, painful process of coming to after a night of questionable decisions.
- Activity: Swallowing a mountain of Ibuprofen and praying to the coffee gods.
- Imperfection: Definitely overdid it on the margaritas last night. Houston's hospitality is intense.
- Quirky Observation: The mini-fridge in my room sounds like it's trying to launch a rocket.
Time: 10:00 AM - Fueling up.
- Location: That lovely coffee machine in the lobby (bless its plastic heart).
- Objective: Attempt to look vaguely presentable and venture out into the world again.
Time: 11:00 AM - The Menil Collection.
- Transportation: Uber. My feet can't handle any more walking, especially in this humidity.
- Experience: Honestly? Mind-blowing. The Rothko Chapel was an emotional gut punch in the best possible way. I kind of just stood there, staring at the murals, and trying not to burst into tears.
- Opinion: If you like art, or even if you tolerate art, go to The Menil Collection. It's free, it's beautiful, and it's a welcome escape from the slightly-overwhelming-but-also-charming chaos of Houston.
Time: 1:00 PM - Lunch time!
- Location: A nearby food truck park. Because Houston, that's why!
- Experience: Tacos. All. The. Tacos. And a frosty beverage, because hydration is key.
- Emotional Reaction: Pure, unadulterated joy. This is what life is all about. And the vendors are so nice!
Time: 3:00 PM - More cultural exploration.
- Location: The Space Center Houston, or NASA.
- Experience: It was genuinely incredible. I'm not usually one for space stuff, but seeing rockets and space capsules up close? Yeah, pretty awe-inspiring. Had a minor existential crisis about the vastness of the universe, but managed to pull myself together.
- Quirky Observation: Those astronaut suits are HUGE. How do they move in those things? And the gift shop is just a treasure trove of weird, space-themed paraphernalia.
Time: 6:00 PM - Dinner and (attempted) sophistication.
- Location: Somewhere with air conditioning. Still deciding.
- Goal: To not embarrass myself too badly this time.
- Emotional Reaction: A mix of excitement, apprehension, and mild hangover-related anxiety.
Time: 8:00 PM - Still struggling.
- Location: The aforementioned restaurant, which turned out to be a slightly fancy place.
- Imperfection: Spilled red wine. On myself. Apparently, I still have some work to do on the "sophistication" front.
- Rambling Thought: "Honey, you sure you're not drunk?" Indeed.
Day 3: Farewell (For Now) and the Post-Trip Blues
Time: 7:00 AM - The dreaded packing ritual.
- Activity: Trying to cram everything back into my suitcase. Which is now significantly heavier thanks to all the souvenirs and Texan delicacies.
- Imperfection: Realized I forgot to buy a single souvenir. A glaring oversight!
- Emotional Reaction: Resignation. And a vague sense of melancholy.
Time: 9:00 AM - Last breakfast at the HoJo.
- Activity: Contemplating the questionable quality of the waffles and the slightly-creepy-but-strangely-endearing charm of the lobby decor.
- Quirky Observation: The elevator still creaks. The dolphin on the poster still smiles.
- Opinion: I'm going to miss this place. In its own weird, slightly-used way, the HoJo was home.
Time: 10:00 AM - Departure.
- Transportation: Uber to the airport.
- Emotional Reaction: Sad to leave, thrilled to escape the humidity, and already plotting my return to Houston.
- Rambling Thought: Maybe I should invest in some cowboy boots.
Time: Now.
- Location: Typing this up on the plane, slightly shell-shocked but mostly happy.
- Opinion: Houston, you were a glorious disaster. And I wouldn't have had it any other way.
So there you have it, folks. My extremely messy, slightly-unhinged, and hopefully-entertaining Houston adventure. Remember, travel isn't perfect. It's messy, it's imperfect, and sometimes, it involves questionable vending machine snacks and spilled red wine. But it's also an incredible, life-affirming experience. And hey, at the end of the day, that HoJo bed was pretty comfortable. Right? Right?! Okay, maybe not.
Wright-Patterson AFB Getaway: Comfort Inn & Suites Fairborn - Your Perfect Stay!
Escape to Houston: Howard Johnson's Downtown Delight! – Your Totally Unfiltered Guide
Okay, so… what *is* this "Howard Johnson's Downtown Delight" anyway? Is it actually...delightful?
Alright, let's be honest. "Delightful" might be stretching it a *little*. Picture this: Houston. Downtown. A blast from the past, radiating a certain… charm? Okay, maybe "character" is a better word. This Howard Johnson's – let's just call it "HoJo's" for the sake of brevity (and let's face it, a bit of denial) – is a throwback. Think 80s vibes mixed with a healthy dose of… well, let's say *historical patina*. It's not the Four Seasons, people. It's an experience. A *unique* experience. And honestly? Sometimes that's what you need. It's like, you know, that slightly dusty, but still perfectly functional, time machine of a hotel.
What's the room situation like? Clean? Smelly? Haunted? (Don't lie!)
Okay, *deep breath*. The rooms… they're… serviceable. Look, you're not paying Ritz-Carlton prices, alright? "Clean" is a relative term. I'd say "thoroughly vacuumed" is optimistic, "surface-cleaned" is more accurate. The air conditioning? Pray it works. My first time there, the window wouldn't close all the way. Kept hearing this weird, rhythmic *thump, thump, thump* all night. Turns out it was the wind. Wind! In a *hotel room*! Seriously, though, bring some air freshener. And look – I *swear* I saw a *dust bunny* the size of a small hamster running across the carpet one time. Actually... maybe it *was* a hamster. I didn't investigate. I just… went to bed. The point is, manage your expectations. As for haunted? I'm not sure, but the flickering fluorescent lights in the hallway did give me the creeps once or twice.
Is the location actually "Downtown"? Because Google Maps often lies.
Yep. It *is* downtown. Like, actually downtown. Which is both a blessing and a curse. Blessing: you're close to… well, some stuff. Curse: you're close to… some other stuff. The "stuff" includes some pretty epic Houston institutions, but also… let's just say downtown Houston isn't exactly known for its picturesque charm. (Think… concrete. Lots and lots of concrete.) But hey, it's convenient for getting around. Though, I *will* say, walking around at night? Stick to well-lit areas and maybe bring a friend. Or a very large dog. Or both. Honestly, it's fine, just... be aware. Houston is a big city, and big cities have… yeah.
What about the food? Is the free breakfast any good? (Be honest, again!)
The breakfast… ah, the breakfast. Let’s just say it’s an experience in its own right. Think: pre-packaged muffins, a slightly questionable looking toaster, and coffee that tastes like… well, it tastes like strong, cheap hotel coffee. On the plus side, there *is* usually fruit, in the form of pre-cut melon that has seen better days, and some kind of scrambled egg-like substance. I once saw a guy sneak three *full* plates of sausage patties wrapped in waffles back to his room. I admire his dedication to the cause. Look, it'll fill you up. And hey, maybe it’ll remind you of a simpler time. Before artisanal toast became a thing. Before you expected much of anything from a complimentary breakfast. Think of it as an adventure. An edible adventure. In fact, I'm starting to think I might actually *miss* that breakfast. That, or I'm losing it.
Okay, so are you actually recommending this place? Or is this some kind of elaborate joke?
Alright, so here's the deal: I'm not saying it's paradise. I'm not saying it's glamorous. I'm not saying you'll tell all your friends about it. But, and this is a big "but,” depending on *why* you're going to Houston, it’s really not SO bad. If you’re on a budget, it's fine. If you're just looking for a basecamp while you explore the city, it’s… functional. If you have low expectations and a sense of humor, you might even find yourself… entertained. I *will* acknowledge, though, that I’m probably biased. I've stayed there several times for work, and it’s just… it *is*. It’s a thing, okay? A Houston thing. A throwback thing. A… *slightly* terrifying thing. But a memorable thing. So, go in with your eyes open, bring a sense of adventure, and prepare for a story. You'll definitely get one. And hey, at the very least, you’ll have a story to tell. And maybe? Just maybe? You'll even find yourself, years later, waxing nostalgic about the questionable coffee and the dust bunnies. Just saying.
What about parking? Is it free? Because I *hate* paying for parking.
Free parking? Ha! Oh, you sweet, summer child. Downtown Houston. Parking is a battle. And, well, the HoJo's has *some* parking. It may or may not be enough. It could be a tight squeeze. It might involve some creative maneuvering. It definitely involves a certain degree of luck. And it might cost you a few bucks for valet. Honestly, I'd recommend just budgeting for parking. Think of it as an additional tax on your Houston experience. Which, let’s be honest, is probably the case with *everything* in Houston. I haven't been back, but the last time I was there, I took an Uber. MUCH easier. Worth the money, even if it feels like a betrayal of the "budget" ethos of staying at HoJo's. But, hey... sometimes convenience wins.
Are there any nearby restaurants or things to do?
Okay, let’s talk about what you can actually *do* in the general vicinity of the HoJo. There *are* some restaurants. "Nearby" is relative, however. You might need to walk a bit. Or Uber. Or, you know, take your chances with public transportation. (Houston's public transportation… let’s just say it has its own unique… challenges). But yes, there are restaurants. From fast food to… well, slightly less fast food. The Theater District is also close by. If you're into the arts, that's a major win. Otherwise, you’re in downtown Houston. Which means… well, things to do are plentiful, if you're willing to look for them. And to walk. And maybe to Uber.
Anything else I should know before I book my "Escape"?
Okay, final thoughts, letBook Hotels Now
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