Juneau's BEST Extended Stay? Shell Simmons Drive Suites Await!
Juneau's "BEST" Extended Stay? Shell Simmons Drive Suites: A Whirlwind of Expectations and…Mostly Satisfactory Comfort (Let's Be Real)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because trying to review Shell Simmons Drive Suites is like wrestling a grumpy bear made of waffle cones. It's a process. Let’s start with the name – Shell Simmons? Sounds like a character from a forgotten episode of MASH. I’m already picturing a grizzled army medic trading shells (presumably shotgun shells) for a decent cup of coffee. Anyway, buckle up, because we're going in deep.
Accessibility: The Good, The Okay, and the Slightly Frustrating.
First off, the basics. Accessibility. They say they've got it. Wheelchair accessible? Okay, that's a check mark. Elevator? Praise the travel gods, yes. They also mention facilities for disabled guests. Great! But, let's be honest, a lot of places say they're accessible, and then you find yourself wedged between a bathroom door and a laundry basket. I didn't personally need these amenities, but I did notice the hallways were wide enough. So… progress?
Check-in/out [express]? Honestly, in my experience, "express" usually translates to "stand in line for fifteen minutes, maybe more if the WiFi is wonky." The actual check-in was… fine. Efficient, if a bit… clinical. Kinda like getting a shot. Get the information, get the key, and scram. I would have preferred a bit more warmth, maybe a "Welcome to Juneau! How was your flight? Here's where the good coffee is…" But hey, I'm a sucker for a good welcome, and this was more of a cold greeting with a "here's your room" vibe.
Rooms: My Fortress of Solitude (Mostly…)
Okay, so the rooms. I requested a non-smoking room (essential, I'm a delicate flower). Non-smoking rooms? Check. They've got soundproof rooms, which is a godsend! As someone who's stayed in hotels where you could hear the thoughts of the person in the next room, this is a major win. I got a room with a window that opens. Joy! Fresh Juneau air! And a view… of a parking lot. Fine, I’ll take it.
My room’s air conditioning was amazing, a crucial feature due to the recent heat wave, and that desk was a lifesaver. I definitely needed a dedicated laptop workspace. The blackout curtains were a game-changer, crucial for catching up on some much-needed sleep.
Okay, let's dive deeper into the features:
- The Bed: Oh, the bed! It was a proper extra long bed, offering ample space to sprawl and recharge. I felt my stress levels drop and I sunk into a truly blissful slumber.
- Bathroom Bliss (and minor annoyances): The shower seemed adequate. Bathrobes? Yes! Slippers? Also yes! Towels? Adequate. One minor gripe: the water pressure was… well, let's just say my shower was a meditative experience rather than an invigorating one.
Internet: The Eternal Struggle
Internet access and internet access – wireless are present, alongside "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" Yeah, about that. It's the usual hotel internet saga, isn't it? Internet access [LAN]? (snicker). Remind me, when was the last time you actually plugged a cable into your laptop in a hotel room? Regardless, I tested it. Wi-Fi worked. Sometimes well. Sometimes… like a snail. It's hit or miss, much like my dating life. I tried to stream a movie, but it kept buffering. Sigh. Oh, well.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Where the Adventure (and Disappointment) Begins
This is where things get… interesting. Restaurants? Technically, yes. There’s a restaurant on-site, but it wasn't open when I needed it most (late night cravings, naturally). Room service [24-hour]? Nope. Sad face. Breakfast [buffet]? Nope. Breakfast takeaway service? Nope. Okay, so maybe my expectations were too high. The coffee shop's a bust, which is a cardinal sin. I'm a coffee addict. I'm beginning to lose my will to live.
Things to Do and Ways to Relax (or Attempt To)
Fitness center, and Gym/fitness? Nice. I didn't go. I was on vacation. I think they did have a Sauna. The thought of a spa was tantalizing, though, after a flight, but alas, I wasn't sure they had one. Swimming pool [outdoor]? Nope. My relaxation consisted of staring at the ceiling and pondering life's great mysteries.
Cleanliness and Safety: Safety First (Hopefully!)
This is where Shell Simmons seems to shine, especially given the times. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Rooms sanitized between stays, and Staff trained in safety protocol. All great! They had hand sanitizer stationed everywhere. First aid kit, too. Feel safe enough.
Services and Conveniences: The Stuff You Forgot You Needed
Air conditioning in public area? Good. Daily housekeeping? Essential. They also have luggage storage. The elevator was a blessing and a curse. The blessing: I didn’t have to lug my suitcase up the stairs. The curse: Waiting for the elevator always felt like an eternity.
For the Kids: Maybe Skip This One
Let's just say, unless your kids are into staring at walls, this isn't the most kid-friendly place. Babysitting service? Nope. Family/child friendly? Debatable.
The Verdict: It's Fine. Really.
Look, is Shell Simmons Drive Suites a five-star luxury experience? Absolutely not. Is it perfect? Far from. But for an extended stay in Juneau, it gets the job done. If you need a clean, comfortable place to crash with a decent internet connection (cross your fingers!), and the basic amenities, you could do much worse. It's not the most exciting place in the world, but it's a solid, reliable choice. Is it "BEST"? Hmm… that's a stretch. But it's good enough. And trust me, in Juneau, "good enough" sometimes feels like a victory.
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups. This ain't your sterile, Pinterest-perfect itinerary. This is my survival guide to Juneau, Alaska, fueled by instant coffee and the sheer hope that I won't get mauled by a bear. We're staying at the Extended Stay America Suites on Shell Simmons Drive. Let's see if we can make it out alive and with a few decent selfies. (Spoiler alert: probably not.)
Juneau Jaunt: The Slightly Unhinged Alaskan Adventure - Extended Stay Edition
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread (Plus Wal-Mart)
- Morning (or whenever you drag yourself out of bed after a cross-country flight): Land at Juneau International Airport. Try not to gasp too loudly at the sheer, majestic ness of the mountains. Everyone else does. It's a good icebreaker. Grab a shuttle or cab to the Extended Stay. (Side note: Is it just me, or do Extended Stays all have a vaguely depressing air? Like, "Welcome! Prepare to live here for eternity, alone, with a microwave.")
- Afternoon: Unpack. Assess the damage from the flight. Realize you forgot your lucky socks. Curse yourself. Then, the real important task: Locate the nearest Wal-Mart. Because, Alaska. Gotta stock up on snacks, maybe a bear bell (just in case), and, let's be honest, something to numb the reality that you're in Alaska. Found some decent (and cheap) instant ramen. Victory.
- Evening: Settle in. Attempt, and fail, to connect to the Wi-Fi. Stare out the window at the imposing trees, wondering if a moose is judging you. Cook the ramen. Contemplate the meaning of life. Give up. Watch some terrible TV. Fall asleep before the credits roll.
Day 2: Glacier Glimpses and Tourist Traps (Oh, the Humanity!)
- Morning: Okay, today is the big day. We're seeing glaciers! (Yes, I'm excited. Shut up.) Hop on a tour bus to Mendenhall Glacier. Try not to be that tourist who's constantly snapping photos. Fail miserably. The glacier is stunning, though. Picture-perfect, but the sheer volume of tourist is a bit much.
- Afternoon: Okay, okay. Post-Glacier Debrief: The Mendenhall Glacier visitor center is a bit chaotic. Kids running wild, parents frazzled, the gift shop… oh, the gift shop. I'm pretty sure I saw a stuffed salmon that winked at me. Escape with my sanity (mostly) intact.
- Evening: Whale watching tour (booked in advance, thank god, because everything fills up). Pray to Poseidon for good weather and a whale sighting. Turns out… HE DELIVERED! Seeing those majestic creatures breach the water? I almost lost it. Pure, unadulterated awe. The boat ride, however, was a bit… choppy. Spend the entire trek back to shore regretting my giant lunch.
Day 3: Downtown Dilemmas and Gastronomic Adventures
- Morning: Explore downtown Juneau. Brave the shops filled with "authentic" Alaskan souvenirs (and the inevitable tourist crowds). Stare longingly at the jewelry shops, wondering if I can justify a $300 turquoise ring. Decide against it. Buy a tacky t-shirt instead. Regret it immediately.
- Afternoon: Lunch at the Hangar on the Wharf. It's a seafood restaurant that is located on a pier with stunning views of the water and the mountains. It's all delicious, but my god the prices. It was good though.
- Evening: A culinary adventure! (Or, you know, just dinner.) Found a quirky little place called "Tracy's King Crab Shack". Absolutely worth it. King crab legs? Yes, please. The grease runs down your chin, your fingers are lobster-claw red…absolute perfection.
Day 4: (Potentially) Getting Lost and Waterfall Woes
- Morning: Attempt a hike. (I say "attempt" because let's be real, I'm about as outdoorsy as a houseplant.) Pick a relatively easy trail, because, again, I'm more of a "Netflix and chill" type. Get delightfully lost (or, at least, briefly unsure of which way to go). Finally, miraculously, find the trail again.
- Afternoon: Visit a set of local waterfalls. Feel utterly insignificant in the face of nature's power. Soak up the mist. Get slightly damp. Feel a sense of peace…until a rogue mosquito decides to dine on you.
- Evening: Back to Extended Stay. Binge-watch something awful. Order pizza. Question all life choices. This is where the "living in eternity, alone…" feeling starts to creep back in. Attempt to find a way to the other side.
Day 5: Departure and Post-Alaskan Blues
- Morning: Pack. Say goodbye to the questionable carpet of the Extended Stay. (Seriously, what is that stain?) Double-check that you've got all your stuff. Probably leave something behind. (Pro Tip: Always leave something behind. That way, you have a reason to go back.)
- Afternoon: Shuttle to the airport. Wait…and wait…and wait. Contemplate buying another tacky trinket in the gift shop. Resist.
- Evening: Fly home. Feel the pang of post-Alaskan blues. Start planning your return trip. Because, despite the questionable Wi-Fi and the occasional existential dread, Alaska…got to me. It really did. Now, the only thing to do is to start saving up to go back again and do it all over again.
Aaaand scene. Remember, this is just my experience. Yours will probably be slightly different. Maybe you won't get eaten by a bear. (Probably not. Fingers crossed.) But whatever happens, embrace the mess. Embrace the imperfect. Embrace the fact that you're in Alaska, and that's pretty darn amazing. Now, go forth, and adventure. And bring snacks. You'll need them.
Escape to Paradise: Hawthorn Suites Aransas Pass Awaits!
So, is this Shell Simmons place REALLY "the best" extended stay? Seriously?
Okay, look. "Best" is subjective, right? Like, what's "best" for a grumpy old miner who just wants a bed and a hot shower after a week of slogging through mud? Probably something different than "best" for, you know, a digital nomad with a plant-based diet and a penchant for artisanal coffee. HOWEVER... I've stayed at a *lot* of places in Juneau. And, alright, Shell Simmons is... up there. I'd say top three. It depends. You need to know what you're signing up for. My experiences? *Those* are what matter the most. I once saw a guy *literally* wrestle a rogue salmon out of a dumpster behind the place... so there's that. But, the beds are comfy, the kitchens are functional -- you know, basic needs are met. It gets the job done (usually!).
What's actually *in* these suites? Like, what can I expect?
Alright, so picture this: You’ve got your basic kitchenette. Not gourmet, mind you. Think: microwave, fridge, stovetop. Enough to, you know, heat up a can of beans or cook a desperate breakfast. The appliances are… let’s call them "seasoned." I once found *three* different types of spatula in the same drawer. The bathroom is… functional. The shower pressure is a crapshoot. Some days it's a forceful waterfall, other days you're basically being drizzled on. Don’t be afraid to ask for a better room. As for furniture… well, it’s not exactly Pottery Barn. It's kind of a… a collection of hand-me-downs, but the beds are surprisingly comfortable, at least *I* found them to be. I was sleeping after a long day fishing.
Is the location good? Is it near anything interesting?
The location? Okay, here’s the deal. Shell Simmons is on Shell Simmons Drive (duh!). Which puts it, in a word: *convenient*. It's a short drive (or decent walk, if you like walking) to downtown Juneau. That's a win. You're far enough from the cruise ship insanity, but close enough to the action. You can walk to the grocery store (important). The bus stops are nearby. You can practically *smell* the salmon from the docks. Unless you're really, *really* picky about your view then you'll probably like it. I found it was the best compromise I could get. Finding a parking spot is a total wild card though – sometimes you luck out; sometimes you're circling for twenty minutes. I once had to park three blocks away and trudge back in the pouring rain. But hey, that's Juneau.
How's the internet? Because, ya know, gotta work.
Ah, the internet. This is where things get a *little* dicey. Don't expect blazing speeds. Sometimes it's great, sometimes you’re staring at a loading screen for what feels like an eternity. Streaming? Maybe. Video calls? Good luck. This is Alaska we’re talking about, people. Cell service in general is spotty. I remember desperately trying to upload a video while sitting on the hood of my car one time, hoping I'd get enough signal. It was a comedy of errors. Bring a hotspot, consider yourself warned. I'd give it a solid... C-minus on the internet front. Just set your expectations accordingly and maybe bring a book.
Are there any downsides? Be honest!
Okay, real talk. The downsides? Well, the noise levels can vary. And there are things to consider! You might hear your neighbors... a lot. Thin walls are a thing. Sometimes the hallways smell...interesting. Not always bad, but... interesting. (I once smelled what I *think* was fermenting whale blubber. It’s a memory that lingers). Laundry facilities? Limited. The occasional rogue seagull dive-bombing your balcony is also a possibility. Cleanliness? Variable. Some suites are spotless, others… less so. It really depends on your luck of the draw. It's not a luxury resort, okay? Manage your expectations and you'll be fine. But honesty? Yeah, it's not perfect. Far from it.
What should I pack?
Pack: layers! Juneau weather is unpredictable. Even in summer. A good rain jacket (duh!). Waterproof boots (double duh!). A good book (for those internet-less moments). Your own coffee maker (unless you're okay with instant -- and even then, bring your own). A small first-aid kit (because adventures happen). Earplugs (neighbors, remember?). And, this is important: a *sense of humor*. Because things will go wrong. Stuff will break. You'll probably encounter something utterly bizarre. Embrace it! This is Juneau, after all. It’s part of the charm.
Okay, but what if I have a *really* bad experience? What can I do?
Look, if it's REALLY awful– like, the plumbing's backed up into a mountain of...stuff– then you gotta talk to management. Politely, but firmly! If you're getting no resolution, *and* if this place is truly a nightmare, then, frankly, you should look elsewhere. There are *other* extended stay options in Juneau. I've moved out myself once. Just don't be a jerk about it. Everybody's trying their best. It IS Alaska, after all, and sometimes the best ISN'T perfect. And sometimes the staff are just overwhelmed, or having a bad day themselves. Be kind. But also, advocate for yourself! And seriously, document EVERYTHING. It might not help, but at least you'll have proof of the madness!
You mentioned something about a salmon wrestle… tell me more.
Okay, okay, *fine*. The salmon wrestle. I saw this happen *out* of the dumpster behind the Shell Simmons. Picture this: Late afternoon. Gray skies. The usual Juneau drizzle. I was outside, fiddling with my car. Suddenly, I hear this *commotion*. I turn around, and there's this *dude* – probably in his late fifties, wearing a plaid shirt and rubber boots, absolutely covered in something that *might* have been fish guts – grappling with a HUGE, flapping salmon. It was a glorious, messy, utterly bizarre spectacle. He was yelling, the salmon was thrashing, andWhere To Stay Now
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