Escape to St. George: Luxury Suites & Unbeatable Views at Howard Johnson!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the (possibly) luxurious, (definitely) Howard Johnson rebranded as Escape to St. George! This isn't your cookie-cutter review; this is a messy, honest, and hopefully hilarious account of my experience, warts and all. Let's get this shindig started!
(SEO & Metadata Snippet: Escape to St. George Review - St. George, Utah - Luxury Suites, Unbeatable Views, Howard Johnson, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Family Friendly – Honest Review with Quirks!)
First Impressions (and a Slight Panic):
So, "Escape to St. George." Sounds fancy, right? The website promised "Luxury Suites" and "Unbeatable Views." My first thought? Okay, let's see if this Howard Johnson has significantly upped its game. I've got to be honest, I was a little worried. HoJo's conjures images of, well, let's just say functional travel. But the pictures… the pictures looked promising.
Accessibility (and My Awkward Dance with the Elevator):
Okay, accessibility is listed, and that's a huge win in my world. Wheelchair accessible is a big box ticked, and I saw Elevator listed. Great! Now, I am NOT in a wheelchair, but I’ve been in places where the “accessible” label feels more like a suggestion. I'm happy to report the entrance and public areas were, indeed, pretty easy to navigate. The hallways seemed wide enough, and the elevator… well, it worked. My little dance of testing the buttons multiple times just to make sure wasn’t strictly necessary, but you know, I sometimes overdo things. It's a gift. CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property made me feel extra secure. I even spotted the Facilities for disabled guests, which I didn't need this time, but nice to see!
Rooms, Glorious (and Slightly Imperfect) Rooms:
Let's talk rooms. The "Luxury Suites" part? Exaggeration. The "Unbeatable Views"… well, that depended on your room location. I snagged a room on a High floor (score!), but my window faced… a parking lot. The view wasn't quite "unbeatable." But hey, you win some, you lose some, right?
Inside, the room was decent. Air conditioning blasted cold, which was crucial in Utah's desert heat. Blackout curtains are a lifesaver, and the Bed was decently comfortable, the Extra long bed, which was great for my tall frame. The Sofa in the seating area was actually quite comfy for collapsing on after a long day. Bathroom was clean with a Separate shower/bathtub, although the water pressure was about as forceful as a particularly gentle sneeze. But hey, Toiletries were provided! And Bathrobes? YES. I love a good bathrobe. The Complimentary tea and Coffee/tea maker were a nice touch, although the coffee tasted suspiciously like… well, like it had been sitting around for a while.
Available in all rooms: I had Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. The Daily housekeeping was pretty good, and I appreciated that!
Internet, Internet Everywhere (Mostly):
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yes! And it actually worked! Internet access – wireless was strong, even when everyone was on it. Internet access – LAN was listed, but I didn't test it.
Dining, Drinking, and Surviving Hunger:
This is where things get interesting. The promise of "luxury" started to crack a little.
- Restaurants: Listed, plural. Reality? One restaurant, which (more on that later) felt a bit like a portal back to the 1980s.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Yes, a buffet. The usual: scrambled eggs that suspiciously resembled yellow rubber, sausage links that defied gravity, stale pastries that tasted better as projectiles… Okay, I'm being harsh. There were also some perfectly acceptable waffle-making stations. Asian breakfast was listed, but I didn't see much of that. Western breakfast and Coffee/tea in restaurant were in full swing.
- A la carte in restaurant I did notice this was available.
- Breakfast takeaway service was available.
- Coffee shop: Coffee was available at the restaurant, but it tasted pretty "meh," which let me down.
- Poolside bar: Listed, but it wasn't open during my visit. Bummer!
- Bar: The bar was attached to the restaurant.
- Snack bar: I can't recall seeing this.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yup. I didn't use it, but it was a comfort to know it was there.
- Desserts in restaurant: These were listed, but not a high point.
- International cuisine in restaurant and Western cuisine in restaurant were available.
- Alternative meal arrangement. I didn't check this out.
- Salad in restaurant and Soup in restaurant were available.
The Main Restaurant - AKA, My Flashback to 1987:
Okay, the restaurant. The décor? Think faded florals, slightly sticky tables, and a pervasive smell of… well, let's call it "hotel air freshener." The menu wasn’t adventurous. I ordered a burger and fries. It was… edible. The highlight? The waitress, a woman who looked like she'd seen a few decades come and go. She was a total pro. Quietly efficient, incredibly friendly, and she made me feel like I was part of the family. I’d give that lady a medal.
Ways to Relax (or Attempt to):
- Swimming pool: Yes, an outdoor pool was present, but it wasn’t quite the glamorous oasis the photos promised.
- Pool with view: Again, the parking lot.
- Sauna & Spa: The Sauna & Spa are listed, but I couldn’t find these.
- Fitness center: The fitness center was small but functional… although the treadmill made a noise that sounded like a dying vacuum cleaner.
- Body scrub & Body wrap & Foot bath & Massage: These are all listed, but again, I couldn’t locate or use these.
- Gym/fitness & Spa/sauna & Steamroom: I was bummed, as I wanted to try these out!
Cleanliness and Safety (A Sigh of Relief):
This is where "Escape to St. George" really shines. In the era of COVID, I'm a paranoid germaphobe. I was so incredibly happy to see:
- Anti-viral cleaning products and Sterilizing equipment being used.
- Breakfast in room and Individually-wrapped food options.
- Daily disinfection in common areas.
- Hand sanitizer available everywhere.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing.
- Hygiene certification listed.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services.
- Room sanitization opt-out available
- Rooms sanitized between stays.
- Safe dining setup.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items.
- Staff trained in safety protocol.
Staff, the unsung Heroes:
The staff, across the board, were friendly and try to be helpful. The check-in was quick, and the Concierge was helpful with directions. Doorman & Front desk [24-hour] were great.
For the Kids & Pets (I don't have either, but I peeped):
- Family/child friendly
- Kids meal was listed.
- Babysitting service was listed (but I didn't see any kids).
Services and Conveniences (The Small Stuff):
- Air conditioning in public area
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Yes, I think there’s a conference hall nearby.
- **Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events,
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my St. George, Utah, adventure. And trust me, it’s going to be less “perfectly curated Instagram grid” and more “sweatpants, spilled coffee, and existential questioning in a desert paradise.”
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Red Rock Revelation (Or, "Why Did I Pack So Much Stuff?")
1:00 PM: Touchdown in St. George! Okay, so I thought I packed light. Apparently, my definition of "light" involves bringing three different types of sunscreen, a travel steamer (because, priorities!), and a book that's both too heavy and too boring to actually read. My luggage looks like a small, beige mountain. The rental counter guy gives me the look. You know the one. The “lady, are you SURE you can handle all of this?” look. I shove it down, manage to wrestle everything into the trunk of a surprisingly zippy Nissan, and then…crane my neck to see those rocks. Holy moly. Seriously, the red rocks, they’re like, a punch in the face of gorgeousness. They're everywhere.
2:00 PM: Check-in at the Howard Johnson. Okay, it’s… a Howard Johnson. Don't get me wrong, it got a pool, it got a hot tub. The staff is friendly. The air conditioning works. But let's be real, it's not the Four Seasons. Still, that pool is calling my name already. And the free Wi-Fi is a godsend because, let’s be honest, I need to post a picture of those rocks, STAT.
2:30 PM: Unpacking. This is where the “light packing” lie is REALLY exposed. Clothes everywhere. Random chargers, pens, and the world's most inexplicably crumpled grocery bag erupt from my suitcase. I vow to be tidier tomorrow. (Spoiler alert: I won't.)
3:30 PM: Finally at the pool. I'm already regretting not bringing a bigger towel, but whatever. I’m embracing the quintessential American vacation. I am a pool person. I love the sun, the smell of chlorine, the slightly judgmental stares of the other vacationers. I have my book, I have sunscreen, and I'm ready to become a pool-side sloth. And then a screaming toddler launches a rogue water balloon directly at my head. My perfect moment, shattered. I think I may just have been punched.
4:00 PM: The Great Red Rock Revelation, Part 2: A drive along the Red Cliffs National Conservation Area Scenic Drive. I spent an hour there just staring at those rocks. Staring. The way the sun hits them, this deep red, almost orange… it's breathtaking. I may have pulled over at one point, just to sit and breathe and try to process the sheer scale of everything. It's humbling. It's overwhelming. And if I'm honest, it made me a little bit teary-eyed. (Don't judge me.)
5:30 PM: Dinner at a local spot called “George’s Corner.” It was recommended, solid, and… well it hit the spot after the emotional rollercoaster of the scenic. The food was good, the atmosphere was lively, and the waiter gave me a free dessert because I “looked like I needed it.” I'm starting to suspect I radiate some kind of "needs dessert" aura.
7:00 PM: Back to the hojo. Pool time again, finally! The kids have mostly gone to bed. It's beautiful. The stars, the silence… I can see the red rocks in the distance, and this time they are glowing. I could just lie here forever. A perfect ending to a surprisingly perfect day. I actually feel… relaxed.
Day 2: Zion’s Grandeur and a Trail of Tears (and Trail Mix)
7:00 AM: Wake up to find a rogue cockroach had invaded my room. I may have shrieked. I tried to act brave and just smash the little bugger with a shoe, but my aim was off. I'm blaming the jet lag. And coffee. I eventually got it. This is definitely not the life I pictured.
8:00 AM: The Zion National Park Shuffle. Driving to Zion is an experience in itself - it's a gorgeous drive. However, the park itself is a sea of people. It’s worse than Black Friday. Finding parking is like winning the lottery. Luckily, there's a shuttle bus system. Which is nice, but also involves a lot of waiting. A whole lot. I start eyeing the people with the fancy hiking gear with… a healthy dose of envy.
9:00 AM: Emerald Pools Trail. Okay, so I decided to be ambitious. I'm not exactly a seasoned hiker. Armed with a water bottle and a backpack full of trail mix and a half-eaten apple, I set off. The trail starts out easy. Pretty waterfalls, easy peasy. And then… it gets uphill. Really uphill.
9:45 AM: The Trail of Tears…and Trial Mix. I’m sweating. My legs are burning. I’m questioning all my life choices. Trail mix is now my only friend. I ate all the good ones. I'm left with the dried cranberries and peanuts. "At least they're healthy" I think, attempting to ignore the fact that a raven is circling overhead.
10:30 AM: Emerald Pools Achieved! I made it! I take a quick picture of the falls and immediately start the descent, before another raven takes off with my last apple.
12:30 PM: The Shuttle Again. I’m starving. The trail was brutal. I am mentally and physically exhausted. The shuttle ride back to my car is a silent, shared experience of utter exhaustion with my fellow hikers.
1:30 PM: Lunch in Springdale. I grab a giant burger. I devour it in about 5 minutes, barely stopping to breathe. Then a nap.
3:00 PM: Back at the Howard Johnson. Pool time again. I deserve this. I need this. But my legs are still screaming. I suspect I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
6:00 PM: Dinner at a restaurant called, “Painted Pony” - Nice atmosphere, nice food, expensive. But after my hike, I was willing to spend whatever. I had wine. I feel much better now.
8:00 PM: Early night. I’m watching awful reality TV and getting ready to pass out. This is the life.
Day 3: A Day of Rest, Redemption, and… More Rocks!
9:00 AM: I wake up. The cockroach is gone. The sun is shining. I’ve survived Zion. Maybe I’ll try to be a little more productive today.
10:00 AM: Sleep in. After my Zion experience, I’ve decided I need a day of full rest. The pool is my only goal today.
11:00 AM: Repeat, but at the pool. There are fewer screaming children today. The sun is perfect. I read my book. I feel like I’m finally starting to understand why people love St. George so much.
1:00 PM: Lunch at a casual little place. It’s a burger and fries and I don’t care. Delicious.
2:00 PM: A casual drive to Snow Canyon State Park. I’m not going hiking this time. I take an hour-long drive, just exploring the roads and enjoying the rock formations. The contrast of colors is insane - red, white, black, orange, even purple! The landscape just keeps surprising me. I stop at every viewpoint.
4:00 PM: Back at the Howard Johnson. Another swim. Bliss. I get the feeling that the locals here are on to something. This pace of life is good.
6:00 PM: I can’t face another fancy dinner. I’m getting pizza delivered. I eat it in my room, in my pajamas, while watching a movie. And I’m perfectly content.
7:00 PM: Packing. (The "light packing" lie is very clear now). Trying to organize my laundry, and figure out how I'm supposed to get all this stuff into my suitcase.
7:30 PM: One last moment to sit by the hotel's pool. I sit with my legs in the water and just breathe.
8:00 PM: Bed.
Day 4: Farewell…and maybe a return?
7:00 AM: I woke up early today. I'm sad to leave. The morning is beautiful.
8:00 AM: Quick breakfast. Check out of the Howard Johnson. The staff is friendly.
9:00 AM: Drive to the airport. I spent the last hour just looking at the scenery again, soaking it all in.
10:00 AM: Boarding the
Escape to St. George: Luxury Suites & Unbeatable Views at Howard Johnson! (Or, You Know, *My* Howard Johnson…) FAQ - Because Let's Be Real
Okay, okay, "Luxury Suites"? What's the *actual* deal? I'm picturing, like, a king-sized bed and a tiny microwave, right? (And hopefully, a REALLY good coffee maker.)
Alright, let's address the elephant in the room: "Luxury." I'm a realist, okay? I've been to the Ritz, and I've been… well, I've been to this Howard Johnson. Luxury is *relative*, folks. Think… slightly upgraded Howard Johnson. The suites are, indeed, bigger than a shoebox. I'd say king-sized bed? Generally yes. My last trip? YES. Huge! Though, um, the mattress felt like it had seen some *stuff*. Like maybe a couple of Presidents’ Day weekends and a bachelor party or two. But the microwave? Present and accounted for, thank heavens. And the coffee maker? Now, THIS is the kicker. It’s the tiny, one-cup, sputtering contraption of despair. Bring a *real* coffee maker. Trust me on this one. (I did. A French press works wonders with that view.)
Unbeatable Views? Come on. Is this just marketing fluff? I've seen "unbeatable" views that were, well, beatable. Prove it.
Okay, *this* is where they kinda nail it. I'm not gonna lie. The view from THAT balcony… it’s pretty damn good. Picture this: You're sipping your (already brewed, hopefully strong) coffee, sun rising over those fiery red rock formations that St. George is famous for. Yeah, it’s cliché. But it's also… breathtaking. Listen, I'm a jaded New Yorker. I've seen things. But that view? It made me stop, take a breath, and actually, genuinely… feel *good*. Now, "unbeatable"? Depends on your budget. If you're used to multi-million dollar penthouses, maybe not. But for the price? Absolutely. Side note: if you get a room on the lower floors, your "unbeatable view" might include the parking lot. Learned that the hard way. Lesson: Ask for a high floor! (And tip accordingly, I say.)
How’s the pool? I’m a pool person. Judge me.
Okay, pool people, I hear you. And the pool is… it's *there*. It's clean, and it's refreshing after a day hiking in the desert heat. Is it the prettiest pool? Nah. Is it the most luxurious? Not by a long shot. But, here's the thing: it's *functional*. And sometimes, after a long day of exploring those incredible trails, functional is *exactly* what you need. I once saw a kid try to cannonball into it and completely belly-flopped. That's the pool's vibe. Don't expect luxury. Expect, you know, water. And sun. And the vague scent of chlorine. And maybe, just maybe, a moment of pure, unadulterated relaxation before you hit the town.
The Location... Is it *really* as convenient as they say? I don't want to spend my whole vacation in the car.
Convenient? Alright, let's be brutally honest. It's *pretty* darn convenient. You're close to everything. Restaurants, shopping, the (glorious) hiking trails. And that's a HUGE plus. I'm no fan of endless driving on vacation, and you won't need it here. You can walk to some decent restaurants (though, be warned, *check reviews* before you go – I once ended up in a place with more deep-fried things than actual food! My stomach still hasn't forgiven me). And Zion National Park? A relatively easy drive. So, yeah, location – a win. Just… you might still need that car for *some* things. Like, you know... *life*.
About those Suites... Anything else I should know? Like, are they *actually* clean? (I'm picky.)
Cleanliness is a big deal, I get it. And honestly? They're *generally* clean. But, and this is a big but, *always* do a quick once-over when you get there. Check the corners. The bathroom. Under the bed. I'm not saying you'll find anything horrific (though, on one trip, I *swear* I saw a stray sock…), but better safe than sorry. Also, the housekeeping staff works VERY hard, and they're friendly. If you want a little extra 'oomph' in the clean department, leave a decent tip. It goes a long way, trust me. And remember, no matter how luxurious a Howard Johnson gets... it’s still a Howard Johnson. Keep expectations in check. And maybe bring your own Lysol wipes – just in case.
The Wifi? Is it actually usable? I need to be semi-connected... (but also, I *need* to disconnect...)
Ah, the dual life. The wifi is... patchy. Let's just say it's… 'present.' Strong enough to check emails, upload a few photos to the 'gram (because, let's face it, you're going to). Not strong enough for serious streaming. Or, you know, important video calls. Embrace the forced digital detox! It's a blessing in disguise. Use the down time. Read a book. Stare out at that incredible view. Talk to your travel companions. Or, you know, just sit in blissful silence. You'll be a better person for it. (And maybe, just maybe, if you *really* need it, tether to your phone. But shhhh... don't tell anyone I told you that.)
Okay, you mentioned restaurants. Any recommendations? (And any to AVOID?)
Restaurants! Ooh, a tricky subject. Okay, look, St. George isn't exactly a culinary mecca, but there are some gems. **Recommendations?** The Painted Pony. Upscale. Delicious. But, expensive. If you go, get a reservation, *way* in advance. If you're feeling casual, maybe try… okay, I'm drawing a blank. I spent a LOT of time at that deep-fried place. And I wouldn’t recommend it. Seriously. My advice? Do your research. Look at reviews *carefully*. Ask locals. And for the love of all that is holy, *don't* judge a book by its cover. Appearances can be deceiving. I once walked into a place that looked like a diner circa 1970, and had the *best* chili I've ever eaten in my life. You never know. Just be open to adventure (and carry some Tums). And, maybe, pack some snacks.
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