Escape to Columbia: Microtel Inn & Suites' Unbeatable Deals!
Escape to Columbia: Microtel Inn & Suites - Seriously Underpriced Paradise? (Or Just Okay?) A MESSY Review.
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your sanitized, corporate review. This is real life, folks. We're talking about the Microtel Inn & Suites in Columbia, and their boasts of “Unbeatable Deals.” Are they? Let's dive in, shall we? I’m not a travel blogger, I'm a weary traveller, so expect some… eccentricities.
(SEO/Metadata Blitz: We’re Talking Columbia, SC! Microtel, Budget Hotels, Accessibility, Free Wi-Fi, Swimming Pool, Breakfast, Spa, Good Deals, Family Friendly, Cleanliness, Safe, Convenient… You get the idea! I'm trying, Google!)
The Arrival & First Impressions (A Rant, Naturally):
First thing's first. Finding this place… felt like a quest. GPS hiccuped. Signage? Meh. But hey, I’m not exactly a navigational genius. (My wife thinks I’d get lost in a phone booth.) The exterior? Well, it’s a Microtel. Let’s just say it wasn’t screaming "luxury." More like, "Hey, we're here, come and crash." Exterior corridor, by the way – which, honestly, if you're lugging a suitcase, isn't ideal. Elevator was working, though, phew! My knees are not what they used to be. (Elevator, good. Exterior corridor, not so much.)
Accessibility:
This is crucial. And honestly, points to Microtel for trying. (Wheelchair accessible? Yes apparently, but I didn’t need to personally test it. But the fact they mention it is a plus!) Facilities for disabled guests are listed, but I can't vouch first-hand. However, the fact they're thinking about it is a good start. Check before you book, obviously! But still, points!
Rooms: The Good, the Okay, and the Questionable:
Okay, the room. Let’s get real. (Air conditioning? Check. Free Wi-Fi – YES! Essential, right? Free, in every room! Praise the Wi-Fi gods!) Blackout curtains were a lifesaver. Needed them to avoid the full wrath of the South Carolina sun. (Soundproofing… well, it's a Microtel. Let's just say I heard some of my neighbors. Not ideal for a light sleeper like moi.) The bed? Comfy enough. Not the best sleep I've ever had, but definitely not the worst. (Ah, speaking of sleep, here’s a thought: I forgot earplugs. My fault, not Microtel's. But still… pack earplugs.)
More Room Ramblings:
- Internet Access – Wireless: Free, as already pointed out! Good, but don't expect blistering speeds. (Which is, actually, perfectly fine. I just wanted to work.)
- Desk: Basic, but functional. Laptop workspace? Yep. I managed to get some work done, which is a win.
- Mini Bar: Nope. (Saved me a fortune, honestly!)
- Coffee/tea maker: Hooray for caffeine! Not the best coffee, but it did the job.
- Refrigerator: Useful for keeping your… ahem …beverages cold.
- Bathroom: Clean. Functional. (Not the Ritz, but hey, it did the job! Slippers anyone? Negative.)
- Extra Long Bed? Yes! Always a bonus, especially when you’re tall and your feet look like they might be hanging off the end of the mattress!
Cleanliness & Safety (Crucial in this Day and Age):
Alright, this is important. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, and frankly, the world has made us all a bit more… vigilant. (Hand sanitizer readily available, that's good. Rooms sanitized between stays? Supposedly. Staff trained in safety protocol? I can only assume so.) I noticed the cleaning crew were diligent, which made me feel a whole lot better. Anti-viral cleaning products are being used, as stated. They take hygiene seriously. (Room sanitization opt-out available? Smart move!)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking:
Breakfast. The ultimate hotel test. (Breakfast [buffet]? Yep. Buffet in restaurant? You betcha!) Now, the buffet itself… it was a classic. Waffles, cereal, some sad-looking fruit, and the usual suspects. I tried a waffle. It was… acceptable. (Let’s just say I’ve had better.) (Asian breakfast, Western breakfast? Yes and yes! Diversity! I mean, whatever you want!) The coffee? See above. It’ll wake you up. But don’t expect a gourmet experience. (Coffee shop? In the hotel? Negative.) The snack bar? Non-existent. Plan accordingly.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: The Spa Dreams (Shattered?):
Okay, the website teases a spa. And a gym. (Fitness center? Gym/fitness? Yes, it's tiny but present. Swimming pool? Yes [outdoor, and yes, you could see it from the room, but it looked small]. Sauna? Steamroom? Spa? No. No no no. This is a Microtel. Let's get real here. I'm not sure where they got the idea of those things.) This is misleading at best. (This is definitely where the "escape" part gets fuzzy.)
Services & Conveniences (The Little Extras):
(Daily housekeeping: Yes! Helpful. Contactless check-in/out: Yes! Thank goodness, everything's getting easier. Daily disinfection in common areas: Good! Luggage storage: Yep. Safe deposit boxes: Yes. Now, car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site]: Excellent. Free parking – can't complain!)
(Concierge? Nope. (Though, to be fair, I didn't need one.))
For the Kids:
I didn’t bring kids, but I saw some families there. (Family/child-friendly? Yes. Kids facilities? I didn’t see them.)
Getting Around:
Free on-site parking. Fantastic. I didn't use airport transfer, but the option is there, apparently. Car power charging station? I didn't spot one.
The Verdict: Deal or No Deal? (With a Side of Meh.)
Okay, so are the “Unbeatable Deals” really unbeatable? Honestly, it depends. Were my expectations managed? Not fully, but what can you expect for the price. (Free Wi-Fi, yeah!) It’s a solid, clean place to crash. The service was fine. Not particularly inspiring, but not disastrous either. It's a budget-friendly option. If you're expecting the Ritz, you'll be disappointed. If you're looking for a clean, safe, and relatively cheap place to sleep while you explore Columbia, South Carolina? Then, yeah, the Microtel Inn & Suites is worth a look. (My rating? 3 stars. Borderline 4, if they improve the breakfast. And lose the Spa/Sauna/Steamroom illusions.)
Sedona's Hidden Gem: Poco Diablo Resort's Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're not just planning a trip to Columbia, South Carolina, we're building a memory. And, let's be honest, probably some mild chaos. We're planting ourselves at the Microtel Inn & Suites by Wyndham Columbia/At Fort Jackson – strategically chosen, I should add, because, well, it looked decent and the price was right. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?
Day 1: Arrival, Existential Dread, and Pizza (and Potential Disappointment)
14:00 - Arrival & Check-In: Okay, so first off, the drive. OMG, why is every highway the same? I swear, I spent three hours feeling like I was in a washing machine. And the GPS? Bless its silicon heart, it kept trying to send me into… well, everywhere except the actual Microtel parking lot. Finally arrived, after a near-miss with a suspiciously large pothole. The front desk person seemed slightly… bored? But hey, she checked me in, which is the main aim. The room itself? Well… it’s a room. Cleanish. Smells faintly of bleach and the silent hopes of previous guests. Standard hotel fare, got that classic fluorescent lighting that adds a delightful hue.
14:30 - Deep Breaths and Reality Check: Okay, deep breaths. Unpack the essentials: phone charger, emergency snacks, the anti-anxiety spray (just in case). The bed looks… invitingly generic. This is it, right? The big adventure? Wait, did I even pack pants? (Checks bag – relief).
16:00 - Pizza Mission: Okay, listen. Pizza is crucial. It's the backbone of any successful travel experience. Found a place online called… uh… "Pizza Paradise"? It's about a 10-minute drive. Fingers crossed it's not some kind of pizza hellhole. This is crucial. If the pizza is bad, the whole trip is ruined. (Emphasis on RUINED.)
17:00 - Pizza Paradise Verdict: …Okay, so, "Paradise" is a bit of an exaggeration. The pizza was… edible. Not the transcendent experience I crave, but the crust was okay and the staff was friendly enough. Still, a pang of pizza-related existential disappointment hit. Added some pepperoni (for the courage, ya know?). Maybe I set my expectations too high. Lesson learned: don't trust a name like "Pizza Paradise."
18:30 - Room Recon & The TV Struggle: Back at the hotel. Now, the TV. Oh, the TV. It’s a modern marvel, except it’s clearly from the dark ages. After 20 minutes of remote gymnastics, finally got to watch the news, although I feel a bit defeated by the TV. It is the perfect summary of this trip so far…
20:00 - Self-Reflection and Early Bedtime: The day has been long. Time for a quick shower, change from the day's clothes. Contemplate my life choices while brushing my teeth (mostly positive, mostly) and drift off to sleep. (Or at least, attempt to sleep. Hotels. Noise. Ugh).
Day 2: Fort Jackson-Adjacent Adventure and BBQ Dreams
07:00 - Coffee Catastrophe & Breakfast Buffet: Morning! The coffee is… well, it exists. The breakfast buffet… Well, it's free. Don't expect Michelin stars. But carbs are my friend, so I’ll be okay. Found a waffle maker, that’s a win.
08:00 - Fort Jackson Gawk: I'm not sure what I expected. Perhaps I expected more… camouflage? (I have been reliably informed that tourists are not really allowed inside of the Fort. So, I guess I'll just… gawp.) It’s a military base, and I could definitely feel the energy. It’s kinda fascinating, even though it’s a little bit intimidating. People running, cars zooming, it is a whole different world.
09:30 - The Search for History (Maybe): I could drive around some of the actual city! Perhaps I can find more insight!
12:00 - BBQ Quest Begins: Alright, the true test! The BBQ chase! I've heard tales, whispers, legends of South Carolina BBQ. This is… important. Called around, got recommendations, and now going to… "Maurice's Piggie Park BBQ." Wish me luck. This is where it all goes down.
13:00 - BBQ: A Love Story (Or Something Like It): Maurice's Piggie Park BBQ. Okay. The vibe is… intensely Southern. Wait in a line, order at the counter in the middle of the restaurant. The smell… oh, the smell. It's a glorious symphony of smoked meat. I order the pulled pork, coleslaw, and hushpuppies. One bite. Then another. Then, it goes into "I don't want to stop eating this" mode. The sauce is tangy, the meat is tender, the hushpuppies are… perfection. This is the stuff, people! This is why we travel! (Seriously, I might move here.)
14:30 - Post-BBQ Stupor and Nap Plans: Okay, I need a nap. A long, meaty nap. The BBQ coma has set in. Back to the hotel to digest and recharge. Prepare for the afternoon of… doing nothing. Awesome.
17:00 - Another TV Battle and Self-Care: More telly time! The usual remote shenanigans. This time, I figure it out a bit quicker! Ah well, can't get everything right!
Day 3: Departure - Mostly in one piece
07:00 - Breakfast and Brief Panic: The buffet is still there. The coffee is still… coffee. I packed a bag (don't ask). Suddenly, the realization hits: I HAVE to leave. The journey home begins. There are things I have to do.
08:00 - Farewell, Microtel: Checked out, loaded the car. Said goodbye to the Microtel, which, despite its flaws, was… fine. Maybe I'll miss it. Definitely not the bed.
09:00 - One Last Attempt at Something: Quick stop for fuel and coffee, then… well, then it’s the highway. The same highway. The washing machine of roads. Going to make it back to reality.
09:30 - The End (or a Beginning?): The journey home. Reflecting. The trip was… imperfect. It was messy. It was occasionally frustrating. But it was real. I saw the pizza, I felt the BBQ bliss, and survived another hotel stay! And, hey, that’s life, right? Imperfect. But, also… an adventure.
So, there you have it. An itinerary, with all its glorious imperfections. Now, go forth and make some memories, whatever they may be. Just don't expect Pizza Paradise to actually be paradise, okay?
(Disclaimer: Actual results may vary. May include excessive TV watching, mild existential crises, and a profound love for BBQ.)
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Escape to Columbia: Microtel Inn & Suites' Unbeatable Deals! ...Or, My Latest Hotel Saga
Okay, So What *Exactly* Makes These Deals "Unbeatable"? I'm Skeeaaaap-tical.
Alright, alright, I get it. "Unbeatable" is a bold claim. Look, I've stayed in hotels. Lots. From the Ritz (once, a gift from my ridiculously generous Aunt Mildred) to… well, places I’d rather not talk about (shudders). Microtel’s "unbeatable" appeal boils down to a blend. Think: **Cheap! Really cheap!** And let’s be honest, sometimes, that’s all you need. Plus, they often throw in free breakfast. I'm a sucker for free breakfast, especially when I'm on the road and haven't had time to grocery shop. And sometimes, *sometimes*, you luck out with a hidden gem of a swimming pool. (Disclaimer: The swimming pool luck is a total crapshoot. Ask about it, don't assume.) Mostly, it's about value. You’re not getting a spa, but you ARE getting a clean bed and the ability to escape… the kids, your boss, your life, whatever! (Don't judge - we've all been there.)
Is the Free Breakfast *Actually* Worth It? Spill the Beans! (Or, you know, the Omelets...)
Ah, the breakfast question! This is where things get… interesting. Look, it's not the *Four Seasons* breakfast. Think: bagels, instant oatmeal, maybe some sad-looking pre-packaged pastries that have seen better days, and often, a waffle maker of varying degrees of functionality. I've stood there, staring into a perfectly good waffle iron that just… *refused* to cook. It's a battle, sometimes. You might have to fight for your waffle supremacy. But BUT! There’s usually coffee. Strong, black coffee. And that, my friends, is a lifesaver when you're battling jet lag or just the general exhaustion of being a human being. My advice? Manage your expectations. Grab a bagel, pile it high with cream cheese, and go. It’s breakfast. It's free. It's… a win. (Mostly.)
The Rooms... What's the Vibe? Are We Talking Clean, Cozy, or... Motel Hell? (Be Honest!)
Okay, look. "Motel Hell" is a strong phrase. Let’s be clear: Microtel isn't the *best* hotel chain, and you're not usually getting luxury. But I’ve had some rooms there that were perfectly acceptable, even… *dare I say it*… clean. Think a comfortable bed (important!), decent-sized TV, and a generally functional bathroom. Sometimes, you get a room where the air conditioning sounds like a dying walrus. I stayed in one ONCE where there was a distinct smell of… let's call it “eau de mystery sandwich” in the hallway. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Overall? Cleanliness is usually good. The décor is… functional. You're there to sleep, right? And the price is right, that's the saving grace. Just don’t expect a design magazine spread. Think… clean and functional. That's my most diplomatic answer.
Parking? Are They Going to Charge Me an Arm and a Leg to Park My Car?
Parking? Oh, honey, in my experience, Microtel usually has free parking! Bless their hearts. That’s a huge plus, especially when you're on a budget. I can't stand those hotels that nickel-and-dime you for every little thing. Parking fees are the bane of my existence! Just check when you book, because things change, like the weather. Make sure it's free, it would be great to know there's no unexpected cost. This free parking deal is a major selling point, believe me.
What's the Deal with the Location? Is this Microtel in the Middle of Nowhere, or... Somewhat Convenient?
Location, location, location! This is another one of those "it depends" situations. Often, Microtel's are located near interstates or highways – not *ideal* if you're dreaming of a quiet, secluded getaway. You'll likely hear some traffic noise. But that also usually means you're close to restaurants, gas stations, and maybe even a decent coffee shop. I've personally found some that are a quick drive to all the places I wanted to go. (Or maybe I was just really tired and *thought* it was convenient. Who knows?) Seriously, check the specific location when you book. Is it near what you want to see and do? If yes, great. If not, you might need a car (or a very long walk).
Okay, But Seriously... Any Horror Stories? I Need the Dirt!
Alright, alright, you want real talk? Fine. My most significant memory from Microtel, and, frankly, it’s still a bit raw. It involved a particularly aggressive alarm clock. Picture it: 6:00 AM. I'm DEAD to the world. The alarm *screams*. Not a gentle beep. Not a polite buzz. A full-on, air-raid siren-esque SCREAM. I jumped out of bed, heart pounding like a drum solo, convinced the hotel was on fire. I frantically fumbled for the snooze button, which, of course, was hidden. I had to get down on my hands and knees, to find it in the dark, behind the TV, wedged in the back corner of the nightstand. I think I yelled at it. In retrospect, I might have sworn. *Several* times. It took me a good hour to recover. From that day on, I checked the alarm clock settings THE INSTANT I WALKED INTO THE ROOM. Lesson learned? ALWAYS check the alarm clock. Because that thing? It was truly a horror story. I'll never be the same.
Can I Book a Room with a Pet?
Check the specific Microtel! Pet policies vary, so always double-check before you book. Some locations are pet-friendly, which is a huge relief if you're traveling with a furry friend. Others are not– and believe me, nobody wants to deal with the disappointment of having to find a last-minute boarding facility (or, even worse, leaving your beloved pet at home). So, my advice: Call the hotel, confirm the pet policy, and avoid the heartache. I had a disastrous experience with a hotel once where my adorable poodle, Mr. Fluffernutter, wasn't allowed. Tears were shed. So, seriously: confirm the pet policy. It's the most important.
Is There a Pool? Because, Hot Weather.
The pool situation is another roll of the dice. Some Microtels have pools, some don't. They're not always the sparkling, Instagram-worthy infinity pools of your dreams. Expect maybe a rectangular box of water with some chlorine. But hey, a pool isStay Classy Hotels
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