Escape to Dayton: Unwind at the Fairfield Inn & Suites Troy!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're diving headfirst into… Let's call it "The Hotel Experience Apocalypse." Because let’s be honest, hotels are a gamble. You’re betting on a decent sleep, a working shower, and maybe, just maybe, a croissant that isn't older than you are. And this review is going to be raw, unfiltered, and probably a little bit… all over the place. Just like my last hotel experience.
(Metadata before we dive in! Gotta appease the Google Gods, right?)
Keywords (SEO Gold!): Hotel Review, Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Hotel, Fitness Center, COVID-19 Safety, Family Friendly, 24-hour Room Service, Luxury Hotel (or whatever it claims to be), [Hotel Name if you got one]
(Right, let's get to the chaos…)
Alright, where do we even begin? This… establishment. Okay, deep breaths. Let’s go with the basics:
Accessibility:
- Wheelchair Accessible: Okay, mostly. The lobby? Fine. The restaurants? Eventually. But navigating some of those hallways… felt like a competitive sport. I saw a dude, bless his heart, trying to wheel his way to the pool and hitting a dead end. He ended up trapped at the end of a really sad, long corridor. Like, "Is there a reason for this hallway?" sad. Look, accessibility is vital. This could be major points taken away.
- Important Note: I didn't use the wheelchair services, but I watched and got a good feeling for these amenities.
- For the People: You know who you are--read this section carefully.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Well, they said they were. See above about the hallway maze.
- Accessibility Rating: C-…
Internet, the Digital Oxygen:
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! Hallelujah! God, I've paid for some atrocious Wi-Fi in my life. This was…good. Not blazing, lightning-fast, but didn't cut out during The Office marathon, which I was deeply grateful for.
- Internet Access – LAN: They still have LAN? Bless 'em. For the old-school gamers, I guess.
- Internet Services: Seemed standard. Nothing to write home about (except, apparently, in this extremely long review).
Things to Do, Ways to Relax, and the Pursuit of Bliss (or at least a decent nap):
- Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Okay, this is where it gets interesting. The spa… let’s just say the "Pool with a View" was, shall we say, optimistically framed. More like, "Pool next to a slightly elevated view." The view itself was… okay. The pool was mostly clean. They had a Sauna and Steamroom, which would be perfect if I didn't have a fear of enclosed spaces.
- Fitness Center: I briefly considered using it. Then I saw the treadmill and decided to stick to the room service.
- Massage: Always a good option.
- Body Scrub/Wrap: I don't get these things. I'm a shower and go type of person.
- Important Note: They did have a "Pool with View," and access to the services that I have mentioned.
Cleanliness and Safety (The COVID-19 Gauntlet):
- Anti-viral Cleaning Products: Good, I hope so. I tried not to look too closely, frankly.
- Breakfast in Room: A+ for options. Although the croissant… see above.
- Breakfast Takeaway Service: Useful!
- Cashless Payment Service: Fine by me. Less fumbling with cash.
- Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: Allegedly.
- Doctor/Nurse on Call: Thankfully, didn't need 'em.
- First Aid Kit: Present and accounted for.
- Hand Sanitizer: Everywhere. Good.
- Hot Water Linen and Laundry Washing: Standard, I hope.
- Hygiene Certification: Hmmm. Didn't see one. Raising a red flag.
- Individually-Wrapped Food Options: Mostly. But, again, that croissant…
- Physical Distancing of at Least 1 Meter: They tried. It's a hotel, people are going to congregate.
- Professional-Grade Sanitizing Services: Fingers crossed.
- Room Sanitization Opt-out Available: Nice touch.
- Rooms Sanitized Between Stays: Apparently.
- Safe Dining Setup: Meh.
- Sanitized Kitchen and Tableware Items: One can only hope.
- Shared Stationery Removed: Good.
- Staff Trained in Safety Protocol: Seemed like it, mostly.
- Sterilizing Equipment: I saw a thing.
- Safety Check List Rating: B-/C+ (leaning towards the C+)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Fuel of Life):
- Restaurants: There were a few.
- A la carte in Restaurant: Awesome.
- Alternative Meal Arrangement: Good.
- Asian Breakfast/Cuisine: There was some.
- Bar: Always necessary.
- Coffee/Tea in Restaurant/Coffee shop: Coffee was… serviceable.
- Desserts in Restaurant: Oh, yes.
- Happy Hour: Sweet relief from the day's stresses.
- International/Western Cuisine in Restaurant: The usual suspects.
- Poolside Bar: Essential.
- Room Service [24-hour]: Blessings upon blessings.
- Salad/Soup in Restaurant: Healthy(ish) options.
- Snack Bar: More snacks.
- Vegetarian Restaurant: I thought I saw one.
- Rating: A.
Services and Conveniences (The Things That Make or Break It):
- Air Conditioning in Public Area/In Rooms: Phew! Necessary.
- Audio-visual Equipment for Special Events: Didn't use it.
- Business Facilities: Seemed okay.
- Cash Withdrawal: Good.
- Concierge: Helpful-ish.
- Contactless Check-in/out: Efficient.
- Convenience Store: Always a lifesaver.
- Currency Exchange: Didn't use it.
- Daily Housekeeping: Spotty.
- Doorman: Present!
- Dry Cleaning/Ironing/Laundry Service: Standard.
- Elevator: Thank God. The maze was bad enough.
- Essential Condiments: Hopefully!
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: See above.
- Food Delivery: Nice.
- Gift/Souvenir Shop: Souvenirs!
- Indoor/Outdoor Venue for Special Events: There are some.
- Invoice provided: Yes.
- Luggage Storage: Standard.
- Meeting/Banquet Facilities: If that's your bag.
- Safety deposit boxes: Useful.
- Smoking Area: Found one.
- Terrace: I found one of those!
- Wi-Fi for Special Events: I sure hope so!
- Xerox/fax in business center: Really? In this day and age?
- Rating: Solid B, but some of the amenities were a miss.
For the Kids (Bless Their Hearts):
- Babysitting Service: Good.
- Family/Child Friendly: Mostly, yes.
- Kids Facilities/Meal: I saw a playground.
Getting Around:
- Airport Transfer: Offered.
- Car Park [free of charge/on-site]: Yes.
- Taxi service: Plenty.
- Valet parking: Offered.
Available in All Rooms (The Nitty Gritty) - Let's focus on the stuff that REALLY matters:
- Air conditioning: Essential.
- Alarm clock: Useful.
- Bathroom phone: Weird.
- Bathtub: Good for a soak.
- Blackout curtains: Needed them.
- Closet: Standard.
- Coffee/tea maker: Yay!
- Complimentary tea: Didn't taste great, in all honesty.
- Desk: Needed it.
- Extra long bed: Thank God!
- Free bottled water: Always appreciated.
- Hair dryer: Didn't dry my hair.
- In-room safe box: Fine.
- Internet access – LAN/wireless: See above.
- Ironing facilities: Meh.
- Laptop workspace: Always useful.
- Mini bar: Overpriced.
- Non-smoking: The BEST!
- On-demand movies: Didn't work.
Fairfield Inn & Suites Dayton Troy: A Messy Memoir (and a Terrible Itinerary)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, perfectly-formatted travel brochure. This is me, raw and unfiltered, recounting my… experience. And by experience, I mean a hastily-planned, slightly-disastrous trip to Troy, Ohio, centered around the Fairfield Inn & Suites. God help us all.
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and the Quest for Coffee (and Sanity)
1:00 PM (ish): Arrive at Dayton International Airport (DAY) and… honestly, the parking lot was a nightmare. Like, a legit free-for-all. Found a spot three miles away from the terminal and, already, I'm sweating. Why is it always so hot in Ohio? Is it just me?
1:45 PM - 2:15 PM (ish): The rental car process. Let's just say I spent approximately 30 minutes trying to understand the insurance options, and eventually, I just gave up and picked the cheapest one. YOLO, right? (Famous last words, probably.)
2:30 PM - 3:00 PM: The drive to the Fairfield Inn & Suites, Troy. The GPS kept rerouting me. "Take the next exit, then U-turn immediately." Me: No. No, I will not. Ended up arguing with a robot. Started questioning my life choices.
3:00 PM - 3:30 PM: Check-in. The front desk lady was lovely. Like, she genuinely seemed happy to see me, which instantly made me suspicious. Is Troy, Ohio, secretly a stepford-esque utopia? I silently judged her name tag (Brenda, nice.) and wondered if she has ever experienced a true moment of despair. Still, fast and efficient.
3:45 PM - 4:30 PM: The room. Standard Fairfield Inn. Bed looked comfy, which was a win. The A/C blasted like a hurricane. Thank God. Showered quickly, then discovered the WORST coffee ever. Undrinkable. Sent emergency distress signals down to Brenda, who, bless her heart, seemed to know this was a common complaint. She sent up a fresh pot. This was a turning point.
4:30 PM - 5:30 PM: Brainstorming. I still haven't really decided what I'm doing here. Why am I here? I should probably figure out this whole "travel itinerary" thing. I'm thinking, maybe I should start with a simple… Walk around the property. I'm sure there's a "Fitness Center" and a "Pool." sigh.
6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Tried the "Fitness Center." God, it was smaller than my bathroom at home, and the treadmill was basically a death trap. Gave up and went for the pool.
7:00 PM - 8:00 PM: The pool was… well, it was there. I swam a few laps. I swear I saw a leaf. Then I think I saw a hair. I gave up.
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner. Googled "restaurants near me" and ended up at an Irish pub, because… why not? Fish and chips. It was edible, I suppose. And a pint of Guinness that tasted like happiness. I needed it.
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Back at the Fairfield Inn. The TV. It was great. Watched a terrible action movie. Passed out before the end.
Day 2: The Unexpected Detour and the Quest for Authentic "Ohio"
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Breakfast. The buffet. Waffles. Egg things. Yogurt I was scared to touch. Tried a waffle. It was… a waffle. Nothing special. More coffee. Slightly better this time. Am I acclimatizing?
9:30 AM - 12:00 PM: Okay, so I actually tried to follow my "itinerary." I wanted to see this famous historic downtown Troy. Google maps led me to the strangest route. I decided to embrace the mess. Ended up taking a detour past a gigantic, abandoned factory. Creepy. I think I saw a squirrel. Or maybe it was a rat. It was all a blur.
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch in downtown Troy. Found a quaint little cafe. Sandwiches. It was a "small town" cafe. It was pleasant. I even smiled at a stranger! Is this the Ohio effect?
1:30 PM - 4:00 PM: This is where things got weird. I'd heard about the Great Miami River. Yawn. But I ended up seeing a kayak-paddle place? And I just kind of… Did it. I got the kayak, paddled like a madman, and hated every minute. The water wasn't great. I nearly flipped twice. The sun was intense.
4:30 PM - 5:00 PM: Back at the Fairfield Inn. Shower. Because river water. And also existential dread.
5:30 PM - 7:00 PM: I'm supposed to find "local culture." Ugh. I did some research. The Troy-Hayner Cultural Center. It's free. Maybe it's also boring.
7:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner at some chain restaurant. Ordered the wrong thing. Regret. The worst.
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Back in the room. Thinking about bed. Already mentally preparing for the morning's waffle.
Day 3: Departure (and a Final, Desperate Plea for Humanity)
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Waffles. The same, terrible coffee. I'm starting to crave the taste of real coffee. I even considered going to Starbucks.
9:30 AM - 10:30 AM: Packing. Leaving. Freedom! Almost. The rental car. Again.
10:30 AM - 11:30 AM: The drive back to the airport. The GPS tried to send me down a dirt road. I suspect it has a personal vendetta against me.
11:30 AM - 12:00 PM: Airport. The end.
Final Thoughts:
Okay, so the Fairfield Inn & Suites in Troy, Ohio, was… a place. A place I stayed. The trip wasn't exactly a Pinterest-perfect getaway. I wouldn't call it "fun." Mostly, it was a series of small humiliations, bad coffee, and existential questions. But… maybe that's the point? Maybe the best travel experiences are the messy ones, the ones where you get a little lost, a little frustrated, and a lot more human.
Would I go back to Troy? Probably not. But hey, at least I got a story out of it. And that, my friends, is worth more than any perfectly curated itinerary. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a strong coffee. And maybe a therapist.
Halifax's Hidden Gem: Lord Nelson Hotel & Suites – Unforgettable Stay!
So, like, what *is* this thing anyway? (I'm talking about whatever we are now talking about)
Alright, deep breaths. You're looking at a collection of often-asked questions, I guess? About... *gestures vaguely* ...stuff. Things I've learned, things I've stumbled over, things that have either tickled my funny bone or made me want to scream into a pillow. There isn't really ONE THING this is *about*, actually. It's more... a mental scrapbook. Think of it like a really disorganized digital brain dump, with a healthy dose of me trying to figure things out as I go. Let's just see where this goes. Okay? Okay.
Okay, fine. But what's the *point*? Why are we even doing this? Is this some kind of performance art?
The point? Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe I'm hoping someone, somewhere, will find something useful in all this chaos. Or maybe I'm just trying to organize my own thoughts, which is a Herculean task in its own right. Performance art? God, I hope not. I'm way too awkward for that. Unless my awkwardness *is* the performance... hmm... See? I'm figuring this out as we go. The *why* is just something I'm still mulling over... mostly I'm just bored and need to write something.
So, you're claiming to be... an 'expert'?
Expert? *laughs hysterically*. Oh, honey, no. I'm a *survivor*. I've managed to bumble my way through life, making questionable decisions and learning a ton of stuff, but 'expert' is pushing it. Think more 'well-intentioned amateur who's read a lot of (questionably reliable) articles.' I'm really just sharing my journey. It's less a lecture and more a slightly unhinged conversation. Seriously, take everything I say with a grain of salt the size of your head.
Let's get specific. What's a time you really totally messed up? Spill the tea, please.
Oh, sweet Lord, where to begin? Okay, I'll go with the time I decided to bake a cake for this guy I was *really* into. Now, I'm not a baker. Like, at all. My attempts usually end in something resembling a dense, slightly burnt brick. But Cupid's arrow, or whatever, had me convinced I could pull it off. I spent *hours* poring over a recipe. Remember this was pre-internet-every-recipe-ever-at-your-fingertips days, so I had to go to the library! I got all the ingredients, carefully measured everything, and even put on an apron. I was basically Martha Stewart, you know? Cut to the cake cooling…or, well, what *was* supposed to be the cake. It had sunk like a stone. The edges were hard as rock, and the center was... well, it was still somehow raw. I tried to frost it, but it crumbled, leaving a pile of sugary, sad crumbs all over the counter. I hid it in the trash. I almost felt bad for the garbage truck. I'm not even sure the guy ever knew, but I remember this intense feeling of wanting the earth to swallow me whole. I have learned two things: 1) I am not a baker. 2) Never, ever, bake for someone you're trying to impress. Just buy a store-bought one. Saves you a ton of emotional baggage.
Are you serious? This is all based on personal stuff?
Like, completely. It's all me, all the time. My weird ideas, my failures, my moments of brilliance (which, admittedly, are few and far between). I have no agenda here. I'm not trying to sell you anything (except maybe a good laugh at my expense). I'm just trying to be real. And let's be honest, the real stuff is the most interesting stuff.
You're being deliberately vague, aren't you?
Maybe. Depends what you mean by "vague." In case you haven't noticed, sometimes the most important things in life are just hard to put into words. You know? That moment when you're so happy the world seems to sparkle, or when grief hits you so hard you can barely breathe... those emotions are so complex, so *raw*, that they are hard to articulate. So, yes, some things are deliberately vague... because I don't have a good way to say it.
What's the *worst* piece of advice you ever got?
Oh, man. The worst advice? "Follow your heart." Sounds great, right? Like, let it be a guide. But my heart? That thing is a hot mess. It leads me down paths like impulsive purchases of those ridiculously oversized sunglasses or an unhealthy obsession with reality TV. My heart is emotional and it's unreliable. It's a terrible leader.
What makes you *happy*? What's your kryptonite?
Happiness? It's simple things: A really good cup of coffee. The smell of rain. A perfectly timed joke. The feeling of accomplishment. Those pure and small moments. Kryptonite? Ugh, I can list them but I will spare you because the list is a mile long.
Will this ever end?!
Probably not. I'm fairly certain this is going to live on for a bit. I guess we'll see.
Post a Comment for "Escape to Dayton: Unwind at the Fairfield Inn & Suites Troy!"