Winona's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (You Won't Believe This!)
Holiday Inn Express Winona: A Hot Mess of a Hotel (But I Kinda Loved It?) - A Review You Won't Believe (Seriously!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because you're about to dive headfirst into my chaotic experience at the Holiday Inn Express in Winona, MN. Let me preface this by saying, I am a creature of habit, a hotel snob (I admit it), and a sucker for a good story. This stay? It was a roller coaster. Buckle up!
First Impressions & That Damn Lobby (And The Lack of Valet Parking, Frankly)
Walking in, the lobby screamed "Midwestern." Not in a bad way, mind you, but in a "practical, clean, and maybe a little…beige?" way. The check-in? Smooth as butter. Contactless check-in? Check. The staff, bless their hearts, were friendly. They had that polite, almost too-nice Midwestern charm, the kind that makes you suspect they’re hiding something… like a secret stash of caramel apples. (Just kidding! Mostly.)
Accessibility? Let's Talk About It (I Need a Rant Break)
Listen, I have a minor mobility issue (don't ask – it's a long story involving a rogue trampoline and a questionable dance move). Accessibility is HUGE for me, especially the elevators and the parking. So, HUGE points for the elevator – it was spacious and worked flawlessly. The parking was on-site, and… free! Another win! However, I felt bad for people with wheelchairs, since it had a small parking lot. The Room: My Little Fortress (With a Few Quirks)
My room? Clean. REALLY clean. I’m talking, borderline sterile clean. Like, someone definitely used those "Anti-viral cleaning products" (good!). It was a non-smoking room – HUGE plus. It was surprisingly spacious! I had an air conditioner, a desk, and a surprisingly comfy bed with extra long beds. The blackout curtains saved me from the harsh Minnesota sun… or maybe just the bright lights of the parking lot. The bathrooms had the standard toilet, shower, and bathtub plus the toiletries were decent. The complimentary tea and coffee maker saved me from a caffeine withdrawal induced breakdown.
Okay, deep breath. Here's where the quirks come in:
- The Alarm Clock: It was a relic from the 80s. I spent a solid five minutes trying to figure out how to set it before admitting defeat and using my phone.
- The Wi-Fi: "Free Wi-Fi!" the sign promised. "Wi-Fi [free]!" the room offered. It was… okay. Perfectly functional, but not exactly lightning speed.
- The View: It was a view of the parking lot. Not exactly postcard-worthy.
- The Phone: There was a bathroom phone…why? Who is calling me from the bathroom?
Sleeping Arrangements: My room was generally quiet and free of noise, so the soundproofing worked great.
Dining: Breakfast Bombshells and Midnight Munchies
The Breakfast [buffet] situation? A mixed bag of joy and disappointment. The Asian breakfast selections were non-existent while the Western breakfast options were present.
Positive Points:
- Breakfast [buffet]: The buffet was pretty decent, with the standard eggs, bacon, and sausage.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant was great… because I'm always in need of caffeine.
Negative Points:
- No breakfast in room was offered.
- I did think about breakfast takeaway service, but that wasn't an option.
The coffee shop and vending machines provided me with drinks and snacks when I needed them.
Amenities: Relaxation or Run Around?
Okay, the Holiday Inn Express Winona boasts a fitness center. I looked in there and got flashbacks to my high school gym class. I decided exercise was a bit much, and instead decided to treat myself to the swimming pool, which was an outdoor one.
Unfortunately, the hotel did not have any options like body scrub, massage, spa/sauna, streamroom, or pool with a view.
No sauna, no spa, no body wrap, no foot bath. Come on! This is Minnesota! People need saunas! (Okay, maybe I just want a sauna.)
The fitness center was decent.
Cleanliness and Safety: Did They Actually Sanitize?
This is where the Holiday Inn Express truly shone, especially with the anti-viral cleaning products and daily disinfection in common areas. I give them extra credit for how easy it was to pay, with cashless payment service. They were prepared and that made me feel reassured. And I also had the option to room sanitization opt-out available, just in case.
I saw hand sanitizers everywhere. Staff was trained in safety protocol. Rooms were sanitized between stays.
Services and Conveniences: The Good, the Bad, and the Beige
I’m a sucker for a good hotel with facilities for disabled guests, and this one definitely fulfilled my requirements. The Daily housekeeping was fine, but nothing special. Luggage storage was a lifesaver since I went exploring the city beforehand.
Getting Around
The hotel offered several options to get around: airport transfer, taxi service. While they did not have bicycle parking or car power charging stations, the free car park [on-site] was a winner.
Final Verdict: Would I Go Back? (Probably.)
Listen, the Holiday Inn Express Winona isn't a luxury escape. But it's clean, gets the job done, and the slightly quirky, slightly-beige charm grew on me. It had its flaws – the view, the alarm clock of doom, no sauna. But for the price, the cleanliness, the friendly staff, and the surprisingly comfortable bed, I’d probably go back. It wasn't perfect, but it felt… real. And in a world of cookie-cutter hotels, sometimes, real is all you need. 3.5 out of 5 stars. And hey, if you're lucky, you might even score a caramel apple.
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to embark on a trip to… drumroll …Winona, Minnesota! The majestic Mississippi, the bluffs, the… well, let’s be honest, the promise of a comfy bed at the Holiday Inn Express. And me? I’m the chaos coordinator, the reigning queen of last-minute packing (seriously, I'm writing this the night before), and the person who will inevitably forget their toothbrush. Again.
Day 1: Arrival and Mild Panic (and possibly pizza)
- 1:00 PM: Land in Minneapolis. Okay, so Winona isn't in Minneapolis, but the drive is… scenic? Depends on your definition of "scenic" (mine involves a full gas tank and no screaming children. Wish me luck on both). Driving through Minnesota is all kind of beautiful, the cornfields and the little towns, makes you a little emotional…
- 3:00 PM: Arrive at the Holiday Inn Express Winona. First impressions? Clean. That’s always a good start. The front desk lady, bless her heart, gave me a room on the third floor. “Great views!” she chirped. "Great stairs I will walk," I thought. The lift felt like it was built in the 80s, it was so slow my blood pressure literally lowered between floors. I also think I saw a ghost. Spooky.
- 3:30 PM: Unpack (sort of). More like "stuff everything vaguely into drawers with a vague hope of finding it later." My suitcase looks like a bomb went off. I’m already overwhelmed. Did I pack enough socks? Did I forget my… ah, yes. My toothbrush. (Called it.)
- 4:00 PM: Room exploration: I’m obsessed with the pillows. Seriously, they're like clouds hugging my face. The little coffee machine is a lifesaver. The view from the window… well, it's mostly the parking lot, but hey, I’m not complaining. It could be worse. I had seen it all from a hospital a few years ago.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at… checks Yelp… …a local pizza place. Okay, so I wanted something "authentic Minnesota cuisine," but pizza is always the answer when you’re hangry and slightly disoriented. Gotta love a place where the waitress calls you "hon." I devoured a whole medium pizza. Felt great.
- 7:30 PM: Attempt to watch TV. The remote looks like it was designed by a sadist. After 20 minutes of futzing, I finally get something on. It's a rerun of a show I hate. Okay, fine. I'll just… stare at the ceiling. Thinking about the toothbrush. Still.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime. Pillows are still heavenly. Hoping for a good night's sleep and tomorrow not being a complete disaster. Please.
Day 2: River Rats, History, and the Great Sock Mystery
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. Feeling surprisingly… okay. The breakfast spread at the hotel is surprisingly good. Waffles! And a tiny little container of yogurt with honey granola. And coffee, lots and lots of coffee. This is the best part of the trip.
- 8:00 AM: Embark on a "cultural experience" at the Winona County Historical Society. Now, history is not usually my jam. But the exhibits are kind of fascinating. Saw an old paddle steamer model that almost made me cry. I am becoming a tourist.
- 10:00 AM: A stroll along the Mississippi River. Okay, THIS is why I came. The river is majestic. Boats chug along. Some people are fishing. I'm just… standing there, breathing it all in. Reminds me of my grandpa. His favourite place in the world was the river. I feel peaceful. For about five minutes.
- 10:30 AM: My socks are gone. Again. How can I lose socks in a hotel room? I'm starting to think there's a sock-eating monster. I'm blaming the ghost. Seriously.
- 11:00 AM: Decide to visit the Minnesota Marine Art Museum. Art museums are my thing. Okay, maybe it isn’t the Louvre, but the building is gorgeous. I spent a whole hour staring at a painting of a boat. I am easily entertained.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a cute little cafe. Had a BLT. It was… fine. The coffee was terrible. That's okay though, I had enough from the morning.
- 2:00 PM: Explore the shops nearby. I bought a souvenir snow globe, even though I live in a place where it never snows. I am a sucker for tourist traps.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the hotel. After a lot of walking. My feet hurt. Time for a nap.
- 5:00 PM: Nap is good. Woke up confused.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at some place that someone on Yelp said was "the best." They were wrong. The food was bland. So was the conversation. I'm starting to feel a little homesick.
- 9:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Ordered a pizza. This time, I'm ready to be eaten.
Day 3: Bluffs, Bites, and the Final Countdown (and still no socks)
- 8:00 AM: Goodbye breakfast. At least the waffles were good.
- 9:00 AM: Hit up the bluffs (finally!). The views are incredible. Absolutely breathtaking. I feel like I've stepped into a postcard. I’m almost glad I lost my socks. Makes the experience feel more… untethered.
- 10:30 AM: One last walk along the river. Saying goodbye to the Mississippi. I'll probably come back.
- 11:00 AM: Check out of the Holiday Inn Express. Said goodbye to the ghost. And the good pillows.
- 11:30 AM: Hit the road.
- 12:00 PM: Head to whatever town I'm staying at next.
- 1:00 PM: The Drive. My mind is full of thoughts. The trip was a success. At least I hope so.
- 2:00 PM: Arrive to destination.
Epilogue:
Winona, Minnesota, you were… interesting. You had your moments of beauty, your moments of meh, and your moments of sheer bewilderment (looking at you, missing socks). Would I go back? Maybe. Would I pack extra socks? Absolutely.
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Alright, spill the tea! Was this Holiday Inn Express ACTUALLY the "BEST" like your clickbaity title suggests?
Okay, fine, "BEST" might be a *slight* exaggeration. Look, I was sleep-deprived, fueled by questionable gas station coffee, and desperate. That's how Winona works, right? You stumble in, praying for a clean bed and hopefully NO bugs. Was it the BEST hotel experience of my LIFE? No. Did it save me from a potential mental breakdown after a 6-hour drive filled with screaming kids and questionable road-trip snacks? Possibly. So, maybe the headline is *slightly* embellished for dramatic effect. Sorry, not sorry.
Let's talk location. Was it actually convenient?
Convenient? Yes! It was practically *on top* of everything. Restaurants, gas, whatever Winona has to offer (which, let's be honest, is mostly antique stores and beautiful river views, and the Mississippi itself, which is pretty cool) – boom, right there. I could practically roll out of bed, stumble across the parking lot, and find… well, probably a Dairy Queen, or something. Gotta love that classic American charm. The downside? Traffic. Winona's not exactly Manhattan, but sometimes that parking lot felt like bumper cars at a carnival. I blame the ice cream.
The Room. Tell me EVERYTHING. Was it clean?! (That's my biggest fear)
Okay, the room. Here's where it gets interesting. I'm a clean freak, a borderline germaphobe, and traveling always throws me into a cleaning frenzy. Surprisingly, it was CLEAN! I did the "white glove test" (don't judge me!), and…mostly clean. There was a questionable smear on the bathroom mirror – definitely not my fault, I assure you – but overall, the bedsheets felt fresh (essential!), the carpet wasn't actively trying to eat me, and the bathroom... well, it *was* clean enough to risk using. Relief washed over me. It was a victory!
Breakfast Buffet: The Real Deal? Or a Cereal-ly Bad Experience?
Breakfast, oh breakfast. This is where the Holiday Inn Express truly shines, or *mostly* shines. Free breakfast is my love language. They had the usual suspects: lukewarm eggs that looked suspiciously like reconstituted sunshine, rubbery sausage patties (okay, maybe a *little* disappointing), sad little pastries, and the highlight: a waffle maker. Now, I'm not great at waffles. In fact, I'm terrible. But the sheer *possibility* of a hot, fresh waffle, slathered in syrup? That's the stuff road trip dreams are made of. Sadly, I burned two. Apparently, I'm a waffle arsonist. Still, 7/10 for effort.
Staff! Were they nice? Or did they have that "I've-seen-it-all" hotel staff vibe?
I will say that the staff were AMAZING! (Except for, you know, the dude who didn’t realize I burned two waffles). They were helpful, cheerful even! I suspect maybe the were just used to the Winona crowd. I might have asked for an extra pillow (because, let's be honest, I'm a pillow hoarder), and they smiled and brought one right up. No eye-rolling… at least not that I saw. This is important!
The Pool/Amenities. Was there one? Did you use it? (Probably not, right?)
There was a pool! An indoor pool, bless its heart. I did NOT use it. I'm a germaphobe, remember? Plus, I'd had a long drive, and the thought of putting on a swimsuit and interacting with other humans…no. However, I did peer in and saw…kids. Lots of happy, splashing kids. So, if you have kids, and they love swimming…bingo! If you're me, and you prefer to wallow in the existential dread of your burnt waffles, skip it.
Parking! Was it a nightmare? Did you spend half your trip circling for a spot?
Okay, parking. This is where the "convenient" location maybe bit me. The parking lot was... a *scene*. It was tight. Like, really tight. And on the first night, I had to circle for a good ten minutes before finally snagging a spot that was so close to the curb I thought I was going to scrape the bumper. I swear, if I bumped some poor soul's car after all that driving...I would have cried. But, eventually, I parked. And the next morning, I was treated to a beautiful view of the Mississippi! So, you know, small victories.
Noise Levels? Any late-night parties next door?
Noise level… surprisingly decent! I'm a light sleeper. Any slight noise will awake me. I figured I’d be kept up by drunken revelers all night but…nope. I slept. Like a log. Or, a tired person who needed a nap. Either way, good! The noise was a minimum. So, I take that as a win.
Would you REALLY recommend this place? And why? (Honest, now!)
Okay, full disclosure: I wouldn't say it’s the BEST hotel EVER. But it’s a solid, reliable option. Cleanish rooms, free breakfast (even with my epic waffle failures) and pleasant staff. For the price, and considering I was in Winona, I’d definitely stay there again. It’s not going to win any awards, but it served its purpose: giving me a clean, safe place to crash after a long drive. AND saved me from the dreaded roadside motel of my nightmares. So, yeah, I recommend it. Unless you're a waffle aficionado with high standards. Then maybe pack your own.
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