Escape to Paradise: West Palm Beach's Best Extended Stay!
Escape to Paradise: West Palm Beach's Best Extended Stay…Or Is It? (A Messy, Honest Review)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause I just got back from a slightly extended stay at "Escape to Paradise" in West Palm Beach, and lemme tell you, it was… an experience. Let's be real, hotels can be wildcards. You go in expecting paradise, you end up with… well, sometimes you end up with a lukewarm coffee and a slightly wonky elevator. So, here's the unvarnished truth, the good, the bad, and the ridiculously fluffy bathrobes, broken down, category by category, with a healthy dose of my own slightly unhinged commentary.
First Impressions & The Accessibility Angle (Spoiler: Mostly Good!)
Okay, first off, accessibility. This is something I always, ALWAYS check out, because let's face it, everyone deserves a decent vacation, and "accessible" can sometimes be code for "barely functional". Escape to Paradise was actually pretty good on this front. They've nailed it. Wheelchair accessible rooms? Check. Elevators that actually work? Big check. The lobby? Spacious and navigable. Didn't have to dodge a rogue coffee table or navigate a slalom course of potted plants. (Which, honestly, I appreciate. I'm clumsy enough as it is.) I didn't have a specific need for every single access-related service (like, a "doctor on call" is my worst nightmare, even while I appreciate the service!), but everything looked well-thought-out. Accessibility, from what I could see, gets a solid thumbs up.
Getting Around: A Parking Lot Adventure (and the Odd Taxi Ride)
Okay, so parking. Free onsite parking? YES PLEASE! But, the location of the free parking sometimes, felt a little…remote. It was like, "You could park right outside the door, but enjoy a brisk walk to the car park, the one that's 200 yards away." On the plus side: I got my steps in. The Airport transfer was smooth, but a taxi? Forget about it. It was a journey to find anything resembling a ride-sharing service.
Cleanliness & Safety: Sanitized…ish?
Let's talk about the COVID era, shall we? Escape to Paradise tried to make you feel safe, which, you know, is a bonus. Anti-viral cleaning products and daily disinfection in common areas – good! Rooms sanitized between stays – hopefully! They had all the right buzzwords. But here's where the cracks started to show. The hand sanitizer stations were often empty. And, for me, the room sanitization opt-out available thing raised a lot of questions. Like, why would you opt out of that? Makes you wonder what the alternative is, right? They probably just don't want to clean lol… But for peace of mind, I will always recommend.
Rooms, Rooms, Glorious Rooms (Mostly!)
My room? Pretty darn nice. Air conditioning that actually worked (bless!), a comfy bed, and those gloriously fluffy bathrobes I mentioned earlier. I spent a solid hour just lounging in those, feeling like some kind of hotel royalty. The blackout curtains were a godsend for catching up on sleep. I mean, I think I took like 6 naps, and I never nap. The internet access – wireless, was generally reliable, though I did experience a few moments of buffering despair during crucial Netflix binges.
I was a bit meh on the lack of coffee refills, and while the complimentary tea was very nice, I'm a coffee fiend. The extra long bed was great, even though I wasn't really a long sleeper, I hate short beds. Some of the rooms seemed a bit… dated, in terms of decor. But hey, I wasn't there to judge interior design.
Dining, Drinking, and Cranky-Belly Ramblings
Okay, the food situation. This is where things got… interesting. Restaurants on-site? Yes, plural! But the quality varied wildly. The breakfast [buffet] was a scene. I mean, a scene. I'm not sure what kind of "Asian breakfast" they were going for, but it involved some questionable egg-based concoctions.
The Poolside bar was a life-saver. Seriously, the best part of the entire hotel experience. The bartender (shout out to David!) made the perfect margaritas. The Poolside bar was a haven, a place for cocktails and fun. Happy hour? Oh yeah. I definitely partook. Every day.
And here's where the real drama unfolded: I ended up really wanting soup at 3am. Room service [24-hour]. Awesome! I ordered a soup and it was like some kind of disaster. It tasted like it was made in a washing machine. The next morning, they left me the bill.
I also tried the "Vegetarian restaurant". It was fine, I guess. I didn't spend the whole time there.
Ways to Relax (And Maybe Lose Your Mind A Little)
The Spa. Oh, the spa! Now, this was a mixed bag. The sauna was heavenly. The steamroom was… steamy. I tried the foot bath, because, you know, self-care. And the massage… Well, let's just say it was good, but the masseuse was a little too chatty. I just wanted to close my eyes and zone out.
The gym/fitness center was a nice perk. All the usual stuff. And the pool with a view was beyond words. I loved it! (It actually saved my stay)
Services and Conveniences (The Fine Print)
Daily housekeeping? Great, kept my room looking presentable. Concierge service? Helpful, but the recommendations were a little generic. Laundry service was a total life-saver for a clumsy individual like myself, I got a lot of spills that I wanted gone. Cash withdrawal? Helpful, but the fees were a bit steep.
For the Kids (Or, How to Avoid Them)
I didn't experience this personally, but I did see a lot of families. They had Babysitting service, Kids facilities, and Kids meal. As for me, I spent my time, away from those kids!
My Final Verdict (The Rambling Conclusion)
So, would I "Escape to Paradise" again? Maybe. It's not perfect. It's got its flaws. The food is a gamble, the service is inconsistent, and the whole "paradise" thing is a bit of an overstatement. But, hey, the pool is fantastic, the rooms are comfortable, and David at the poolside bar is a total gem.
If you're looking for a flawless, sterile, perfectly curated hotel experience, maybe look elsewhere. But if you're up for a slightly messy, slightly imperfect, and occasionally hilarious vacation, "Escape to Paradise" isn't a bad option. Just pack extra hand sanitizer, bring your own coffee, and maybe skip the soup.
Luxury Living Awaits: AVIA Residences in Westborough, MA
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. We're going to the Extended Stay America in West Palm Beach, Northpoint Corporate Park. And, well, let's just say it won't be an Instagram-filtered paradise. More like… reality TV, but with significantly less glam.
Extended Stay America: My Northpoint Corporate Park Odyssey (A Week in the Swampy Sunshine)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Plastic Wrap Predicament
- Afternoon (ish): Land in Palm Beach. Sun's already trying to fry my retinas. Taxi to the E.S.A. - the building, a sort of concrete rectangle, blends in perfectly with its industrial surroundings. I'm already feeling a vague sense of… existential dread? No. Just "slightly humid existential dread."
- Setting Up Shop: The room. Alright. It smells…clean. That's a win. My usual hotel room ritual commences. Unpack: check. Assess bathroom's cleanliness (crucial): check. Find the hairdryer (always a quest): double-check. Wait, what's that crinkling noise? Oh, the plates and cutlery are still wrapped in industrial-strength plastic wrap. Someone's taking "sanitized" a bit too far. The struggle to untangle a fork from the plastic prison consumes a solid 10 minutes of my life. I mean, honestly, is that a sign of things to come? I eventually liberate the fork. Victory! Feels like I've scaled Everest.
- Evening: Dinner. Gotta eat, right? Head out, spot some generic chain restaurants. "Chili's?" Nah. "Applebee's?" Ugh, the epitome of mediocrity. Okay, I pick one…
- Shower time: The showerhead is a gentle sprinkler. The water temperature is an enigma. Is it hot? Cold? Lukewarm purgatory? I'm going to be a little cranky for the next few days, I can feel it.
Day 2: The Mystery of the Missing Coffee & the Swamp Thing Surprise
- Morning (ish): Wake up. The coffee maker. Empty. Where is the coffee? The grounds? The whole damn thing? I have to get dressed and head outside for a coffee. No, I don't have coffee in the room. I had to walk. I love coffee. A lot.
- Morning: I decide I'm going to take a walk. It's hot. Really hot. I walk in a loop around the buildings. I'm pretty sure I see an alligator. Is that possible? Am I hallucinating from caffeine withdrawal? Turns out, it's not an alligator. It's some kind of prehistoric-looking bird. I'm definitely feeling that "slightly humid existential dread."
- The Afternoon of Work and the Laundry of Woes: I attempt to work. A lot. The room is small, so I cannot stand up to work. The wifi is questionable, the chair feels like it was designed by a sadist who hates spines. The laundry room is also a tiny area, with two washing machines and two dryers. The machines are all occupied. I am going to do my laundry. And I am not a patient man. I have to wait. I hate waiting.
- Evening: I eat dinner. In my room. In front of the TV. I watch some old show. Is this what my life has come to? A TV dinner? Yeah. And it was a good one.
Day 3: The Pool of Uncertainty & the Unexpected Kindness
- Morning: Let's try the pool, shall we? It’s a small, rectangular thing. The water looks clean. The sun is beating down. But… there's nobody around. It's a bit deserted. Almost too deserted. Is it safe? Are there alligators there? I take a deep breath and jump in anyway. The water is lovely! I had a solid morning.
- The Afternoon: My laptop decides to die. Not a "battery died" situation. More like, "screaming, smoking, and a complete collapse is happening" situation. Panic ensues. I need to get it fixed. I call a few places. They are far away.
- The Kindness: The hotel clerk. She is so kind. She knows I'm stressed. She actually takes the time to call a few places. It's the small acts of kindness that make a trip like this bearable.
- Evening: I get a ride from the clerk. She took me to a computer shop. It's amazing. I get my computer fixed. I get a pizza. I had a great evening.
Day 4: The Same, But More of It
- Morning - Evening: Work. Laundry. Pool. TV dinner. Repeat. This time with less existential dread and more acceptance. I’m settling in. Maybe too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the simple things—a clean bed, a working hairdryer. But oh, how I miss a good coffee shop, a proper walk… I'm starting to get used to the slightly humid air, that's a win.
- A Little Incident: The fire alarm goes off for 10 minutes. I don't know what happened. I went back to bed. Everything is fine.
Day 5: The Last Stand & the Departure Symphony
- Morning: I wake up. My flight is today. I love leaving somewhere like this. The thought of being able to get a regular coffee is so exciting. I'm going to get to have a real meal. I'm going home.
- Packing & Farewell Rituals: The final sweep of the room. Making sure I haven't left behind a sock, a charger, or a lingering sense of… well, you know. I leave a generous tip for the cleaning staff. They kept my room clean, even when I was a mess.
- Departure: I wait for my ride to the airport. The West Palm Beach sun glares down. I reflect. Honestly, it wasn’t the worst. I got my work done. I survived. I'm ready to leave.
Final Thoughts (aka Ramblings)
Extended Stay America, West Palm Beach. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t perfect. It was… real. And sometimes, that's all you need. It made me want to do something I haven't done in years, but never mind. I'll take that as a win. The plastic wrap incident, the mysteriously absent coffee, the slightly questionable wifi – all part of the adventure. They taught me to appreciate the small things, the kindness of strangers, and the sheer joy of a good cup of coffee after a week of… well, you get the idea.
So, if you're looking for a luxurious getaway, maybe skip this one. But if you're after a dose of reality, a bit of sun, and the chance to discover your inner (slightly grumpy) survivor, then… hey, welcome to the swamp. Enjoy your stay. And for heaven's sake, bring your own coffee. You'll thank me later.
Escape to Brownsville: Your Perfect Stay Awaits at La Quinta Inn & Suites!
Escape to Paradise: West Palm Beach - You Have Questions? I Got Answers (Maybe...)
Okay, Seriously, Is This 'Escape to Paradise' Thing ACTUALLY paradise? I'm skeptical.
Look, let's be honest. Paradise? That's a big claim. I came here expecting something… well, less real estate ad-y. But you know what? After a month? Okay, it's pretty darn close. The location? Seriously, you can practically smell the ocean from most of the apartments. I swear, on my first walk I almost tripped over a perfectly tanned… well, let's just say a local with a very serious tan. Okay, maybe not *perfect* paradise. There was that one time I got stuck in an elevator for an hour. But then I was rewarded with a complimentary bottle of Prosecco! So, swings and roundabouts, right?
I will say, the sunsets… Oh. My. God. They actually made me cry the first week. Seriously. I'm a grown-ass adult, and I welled up. It's the kind of view that makes you think your life is a music video. (Even if it's a music video starring a slightly overweight, coffee-stained-shirt-wearing me.)
So, what are the apartments *really* like? Is it just bland beige box-living?
Okay, alright, okay. Let’s be honest. Some of them *are* a little… cookie-cutter. But you know, you can make it your own! I'm a total minimalist, which is code for “I own three pairs of pants.” But my neighbor? She’s gone full-on tropical flamingo explosion. Think pink flamingos, a fake (but pretty convincing) palm tree in the corner, and a seashell collection that rivals a museum. Honestly, I'm jealous of how she's embraced the whole "beach vibe."
The appliances are modern, which is a definite win. And the beds? Firm enough to support my aging back, but soft enough to… you know… sleep. I did have a minor mishap with the dishwasher the first week. Let's just say it involved a lot of bubbles and a very irate maintenance guy. He’s actually really nice though, once you get past the initial trauma.
The website says "Extended Stay." What does that *actually* mean? Are we talking weeks, months… or years?!
Well, I originally came for a month, thinking, "Oh, I'll get my work done, relax, and go home." (Narrator Voice: He did not.) The flexibility is the HUGE selling point. You can stay for a week, a month, or, as I’m currently considering, indefinitely. The pricing is pretty decent compared to hotels, especially when you factor in the included amenities, like the… (ahem) *wonderful* pool area (more on that later… and I do mean later, as in, it needs its own paragraph).
It’s made me start to think about… y'know, my life. Is this it? Is this where I want to be? Do I *actually* need all those useless knick-knacks I store? Which is a question I will keep exploring indefinitely. Don't get me wrong, it isn't perfect; the staff have to enforce rules and regulations, but I feel comfortable here because I have my own space.
The extended stay aspect is great because it allows you to really feel like you're *living* here, not just passing through. You can feel like you can stay for an extended period.
Speaking of amenities… what about the pool? It looks amazing in the pictures. Is it just Instagram-bait, or is it actually usable?
THE POOL. Oh, the pool. Okay, buckle up, because this is where I lose it a little. The pictures? Yeah, they don't even *begin* to do it justice. It's like it's designed by a mad genius who loves sunshine and the color turquoise. It winds around palm trees, has waterfalls, and a swim-up bar (which, let's be honest, is a *huge* draw).
Here’s the thing. I went to that pool every single day for 2 weeks straight. The routine, the water, and the sun… it made me think about life and question my purpose for living. And after the fact, I had no purpose, just happy memories. I got so much more, so much better than I expected. The staff is super chill, and I made friends with the regulars. We've even got a little book club going on the pool deck. (We’re currently reading “Moby Dick,” which is… unexpectedly challenging in a swimsuit.)
But… and there's always a "but," isn't there? The worst part of the pool area? Leaving. It's the curse of paradise! Seriously, I've considered just sleeping on one of the lounge chairs. (Don't tell management!)
What's the vibe like? Is it filled with noisy college kids or a bunch of retirees?
It's a mixed bag, which is precisely what I like. The beauty of this place is it caters to a surprisingly diverse crowd. There are young professionals working remotely, couples on romantic getaways (ugh, the PDA!), families on summer adventures, snowbirds escaping the cold, and… well, me. (Don't judge. I'm a person of leisure. Mostly.)
The atmosphere is generally low-key, friendly. The staff are very helpful and want to make sure you have a great time. I've made some really interesting connections. There's always someone to chat to, which I didn't expect. It gets busy, the pool's a hub, so you do have to work out how to navigate things, and the atmosphere is all about chilling out and enjoying yourself.
Okay, final question: Any REAL downsides? Surely it's not *all* sunshine and cocktails…
Alright, here’s the truth bomb. There are downsides. The biggest one? You might not want to leave. It's addictive. Seriously. I’m starting to look at my old life and wonder… what was I *doing*? The only other real downside is how popular it can get during peak season! Finding a spot by the pool can be a challenge… and getting yourself to leave that spot once landed is an even bigger challenge! I've had to adapt my swimming routine to the crowd. But it is a minor thing overall.
And as for downsides, I would also add: a slightly limited selection of restaurants within walking distance, and sometimes the Wi-Fi can be a bit… temperamental. But really, those are pretty minor inconveniences when weighed against the overall experience. The pros vastly outweigh the cons.
But, I have to say, overall, "Escape to Paradise" has exceeded my expectations. It's not perfect, but it's close. And hey, if you see a slightly sunburned, Prosecco-loving weirdo lounging byUnique Hotel Finds
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